


The One Eyed Christmas Kitten

by smallpersiankitten



Series: Must Love Animal Series [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas Eve, F/M, Fantastic Racism, Heavy Petting, Lots and lots of swearing!, Mistletoe, Racism, smooches, swearing!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-10 22:10:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8941354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten
Summary: You work in Sunset Animal Hospital located in Sunset City, just an hour or so away from Mt. Ebott. Yes, THE Mt. Ebott. The one where the monsters all came from. Your interaction with them had been fairly minimal until the day that two skeletons walked through your hospital doors....BUT...That's not where you are now. At least for not much longer.It's Christmas Eve, motha fuckas! And you get to go home early from work! Unfortunately, you've been invited to your less than grandparents' annual Christmas party. And it's so unfortunate that you decided to foster a special kitten instead, hoping to get out of going due to your grandparents' disdain for animals.Chaos ensues.(I still have a tumblr: http://smallpersiankitten.tumblr.com. And I like visitors! I do not bite them very hard.) :D





	1. A Change of Plans

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Must Love Animals](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6440320) by [smallpersiankitten](https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallpersiankitten/pseuds/smallpersiankitten). 



> If you're reading this, Happy Holidays! You made it to the Christmas Side Story! *throws confetti and ornaments in the air*
> 
> It is based in the universe of my current ongoing Undertale Story, [**Must Love Animals**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6440320), and thus shares characters, but you do not have to read it in order to understand (and hopefully enjoy) this story! 
> 
> You may start reading this and go "Hey, wait, you said reader yet here I see the protagonist has a name? Wtf?" You're right. The reader does have a name although it's not used too often. Because every fic I read in the reader pov, when they go to say your name and I see "_____", that always throws me off a bit. So reader's got a name! But you can change it! You find and replace the name with your own and BAM! Problem solved.
> 
> ~~~~~ = scene/pov/time change
> 
> Now, without further ado! Da Story! :D

Your day started out just like every other day. Well as far as working on Christmas Eve normally started. You walked in, straightened out your scrubs and began your position as a RVT, or a registered veterinary technician. Which included everything from pulling a foxtail out of a dog’s nostril to holding in a urinary catheter in a blocked male cat…What? Did you think it was all puppies and kittens? Not at Sunset Animal Hospital, no sir, no howdy. Although something immediately felt off when you walked back to the hospitalized animals. 

You stared in wonder inside the cage. “When the fuck did this guy come here? He wasn’t here Monday!” 

“You weren’t here yesterday?” Tim, one of your coworkers mused, opening the cage door for you so you could reach in and pick up the small bundle of orange fur that had come to greet you.

“Not all of us are Pam and can take a week off to prepare for family,” you teased. Man, without that 62 year old receptionist, work had definitely been a lot more bland this week. “Trust me, I would definitely remember this guy,” you muttered, as the creature rubbed his cheek against your thumb.

“Well, uh, a client brought him in. Heard him purring in the hood of his truck. Couldn’t be much older than a couple of weeks. Client couldn’t keep him, was wondering if we could take care of him or…well, humanely put him down because of well…” The purring increased as you scratched under his chin. “I mean, I took a photo yesterday, the whole thing was just hanging out and the little guy just kept purring and eating whatever we put in front of him.”

Your fingers brushed the sutures as Tim continued. “Dr. J, uh, well he did the surgery for free. Was going to use it as a teaching surgery.” He laughed awkwardly, “He died on the table, actually, for about 45 seconds, so he’s only got 8 lives now.” 

“Lucky bastard. He got a name yet?”

“His name is Jack. Er, One Eyed Jack to be exact. You know, cause of the enucleation.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the small, fluffy orange kitten that now thrusted its head against the top of your thumb. Fresh sutures securely held the flesh together that used to be his right eye. His remaining healthy left eye watched your fingers intently as you scratched his head again. 

“You know One Eyed Jack is like slang for a penis, right?” You chuckled. 

“You gotta ruin a Christmas miracle with a dick joke, huh?”

“It’s not Christmas yet! I’ve still got, uh…14 hours until Christmas.”

“And 8 hours until your grandma’s party, huh?”

“Shit, don’t remind me,” you moaned as you bonked heads with Jack. 

The Annual Family Christmas Eve Party. Ugh. You loved your family, really you did. But when your own parents were delighted to discover a way to ditch this annual relative gathering, you knew it was bad. Your dad, your grandma’s son, practically relished the fact that he wasn’t going to attend. And it was all due to your grandma. And her well, to put it politely, her snobbiness.

You wore an outfit, well she wore it better. You got new cat earrings? Your grandfather bought her emeralds. You’re dating that guy you met at the supermarket? Well, she dated a yacht member, which really you should absolutely consider looking into. There’s this young, dashing fellow at their country club that you would absolutely adore. He’s Ivy League material, you know. In fact, why don’t you go ahead and give him a call, maybe dress up a bit before you meet him, talk in a higher pitch voice. Oh, no there’s nothing wrong with your voice, it’s just, well, just trust her on this one, wouldn’t you, dear?

You were grounded back to reality with a sharp pain in your thumb. “Ah! Fuck!” You squeaked, looking down. Jack bit your thumb, not hard enough to bleed, but damn! “What a little dick!” You gasped, breaking into a smile despite your best attempt to shoot a scolding look at the mischievous kitten. 

“He also goes by Captain Jackass,” Tim snickered as One Eyed Jack attempted to scale your scrub top.

“Appropriate.” 

“Oh! Wait, careful, he’s climbing in!” You looked down to see Jack’s butt wiggling in the air as he attempted to burrow underneath your scrub top.

“Ah! No, c’mere, you little jackass.” You yanked the kitten out who seemed quite put out that you had stopped his exploration. 

Tim wiped his brow. “Yeah, uh, he’s already tried to climb into like 5 employee’s uniforms. If he didn’t purr, I’d say he was a gopher.” 

“What a weirdo.” With a longing sigh, you placed One Eyed Jack back into the cage and shut the door carefully, so as not to squish one of the orange paws that darted out after you. You paused as you locked the cage. “Hang on, doesn’t he need to eat like 4-6 times a day or something?” You asked.

“Uh huh. And warm bedding. Until he gets a bit bigger at least.” 

“Aren’t we closed tomorrow?” You had patients boarding, but techs would only come in the morning and the evening which worked for most boarders. But not for kittens and puppies. 

“Yeah, uh, about that. Tina’s trying to see if there are any volunteers to take him home over Christmas. I’d do it, but I’m going to see my parents and my dad is allergic.”

“Robby?”

“No, Benny. Remember how we had to shove him full of Benadryl when they came to visit me at work?” Tim reminded you.

You nodded. “Oh yeah. I remember. Risking an allergic reaction. That’s some love for you right there.” 

“Well, duh, of course. They’re my parents.” 

You stuck a finger through the cage grate and Jack seized it playfully. “Well, I would take him, but I’ve got to go to my Grandma’s party and she doesn’t like cats.”

“I’m surprised.”

“Why?”

“Well, what does she have next to her when she’s riding on her broomstick?”

You snorted into a stupid laugh. “Oh my God, that’s golden. Please, I gotta remember to tell that one to my mom.” You groaned. “Trust me, I have no desire to find transportation to her little castle in the snowy hills outside of town,” you spat. You shook your head. “No, if I took Jack, I probably wouldn’t be able to go to the…party…” Your voice died in your throat and you broke into a wide, evil smile. 

~~~~~

“Thanks for offering to take the Cyclops,” your office manager thanked as you stopped by her office, “I hope he doesn’t inconvenience you too much.” 

You grinned maliciously. “Oh, he won’t be an inconvenience at all!”

Tina eyed the carrier you cradled in your arms. “Did you get what you need?”

“I’ve got the litterbox, litter and food in my car already.”

“You sure you can keep that little asshole alive over Christmas?” 

You nodded eagerly. “Of course. I mean, you know I fostered before.” 

“Yes, but they weren’t as active as he is,” she explained as his little paw shot out and snagged her scarf on the table. 

You sighed and quickly unhooked it from Jack’s greedy paws before he could try to pull it into his carrier. “I’ll be fine. Any clients looking to adopt a one eyed kitten?” You pressed. 

Tina shook her head. “Nada. We’ll keep trying, but seriously, this fuzzbucket has grown on me. Do I need to tell you it’s your job if you let him get hurt?”

“No, but I figured as much. Trust me, Captain Jackass and I are going to have the best Christmas Eve ever!” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Just you and Jack?” 

You shrugged. “Well, I can’t go to my grandma’s party if I take him home. She hates cats. She thinks they’re dirty.” 

“I didn’t mean, ah, never mind. Well you kids have fun.” 

~~~~~

Your apartment floor hadn’t looked this clean and picked up since you moved in. All sharp objects had been shelved, delicious bits of string tucked away, hell you had even covered up the electrical sockets. The litterbox was in the restroom and two little bowls of water and food sat on a tray. The only things left on the ground were a couple of stuffed animals and cat toys. None of which, apparently, interested One Eyed Jack in the slightest. Although the white fluffy ball attached to the Santa hat you were currently wearing was certainly tempting, judging by the longing glance he would shoot at it. 

You glanced at the kitten who spun in circles on your stomach as you lounged on your couch. You extended a hand to pet him and he immediately attacked it and bunny kicked it as viscously as a 1lb critter could. You chuckled and flipped through the channels. Maybe there would be a Christmas special on. “You wanna watch some TV, Jack?” You asked, ruffling him gently on his head so as not to disturb the stitches. 

He purred at the attention and you smiled. Seriously, how could nobody want this cute little asshole? Sure, he was a bit broken, but c’mon, this was a cool kitten. Hell, they could even rename him Petey the Pirate for all you cared. You wondered briefly if you could dress him up as pirate. Would he willingly wear the eyepatch once the stitches were off? Did you want to invest money in a tiny costume for a tiny creature that wasn’t yours? 

Yes. Yes, you did. 

Maybe you would have him for a while. It seemed really silly to have to bring him back to the hospital right after Christmas. It would be super busy. Maybe you could wait until after New Year, when he had gotten a bit stronger, a bit bigger. And probably even more cute than he already was now. 

A knock at the door caught your attention and you deftly pulled Jack out from trying to sneak up your shirt sleeve. “Just a minute!” You called out. You placed the kitten on the couch. “Wait here, okay?” You asked. He responded by jumping at your pants leg and you had to recatch him and place him back on the couch. “Jackass.”

You skipped to the door and opened it up. There was Papyrus! Wearing a Santa hat and carrying a lumpy wrapped package with a bow on top. He looked equally surprised to see you and cleared his throat. “Ah, human! What a surprise to see you!”

You smiled slightly. “Yes. Definitely a shocker that I could be found in my apartment.” 

“Nyeh!” He protested, “I could have sworn that you said you had plans around this time." 

“Oh, I did, but not anymore! Come in, come in!” You welcomed eagerly and you shut the door after the skeleton. You turned back to the couch as Papyrus shuffled in after you. You stopped dead in your tracks. Jack was no longer on the couch. Oh my God! Shit. Where did he go?

“I was planning on dropping off your Christmas present before I headed to Toriel's home to wait for Santa-“ You felt Papyrus collide against you from behind, not realizing you had stopped. “Oh, sorry, let me just-“ He apologized, preparing to step backwards. Oh my God. What if he stepped on the kitten by accident?

“Papyrus, stop!” You quickly ordered and he came to a standstill against you. You turned around and nearly smacked right into his chest. “Don’t move! I lost One Eyed Jack!” You quickly explained.

Papyrus’ sockets immediately started to scan. “I won’t! I won’t…what’s a One Eyed Jack?” 

“He’s a kitten!” You explained as you carefully shuffled your feet to begin searching your apartment, daring not to lift up your feet in case.

Papyrus hesitated before pushing out his chest. “Ah yes! A kitten. A creature that is what One Eyed Jack is. Yes!” You shot him an odd look. What the hell was he talking about?

“…you have no idea what a kitten is, do you?”

“No. No, I do not,” He admitted, his chest deflating, but only for a moment. He beamed and loudly announced. “But, I, the GREAT PAPYRUS WILL HELP YOU FIND YOUR-!”

You slammed your hands over his mouth. “Shh! You’re gonna scare him!” 

He cleared his throat as you removed your hands slightly. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, I’m sorry about that,” You apologized, removing your hands the rest of the way. “Just uh, go and sit on the couch while I find him. But shuffle! Don’t lift up your feet, otherwise we might step on him! And check before you sit!” 

He nodded and shuffled to the couch and you watched just to be sure. No. No One Eyed Jack. Papyrus sat on the empty couch and you resumed your search. You proceeded to open every cupboard in the kitchen. Nuthin. 

“What do kittens look like?” Papyrus called after you as you entered your bedroom.

“They’re baby cats. Like, do you remember that fat orange cat from work? Think him, but smaller. Way smaller,” you explained, yanking off all the blankets searching your closet. Nada.

“Is he referred to as One Eyed Jack because he has one eye?” You heard him ask. 

“Yes.”

“Then I found him.” 

You quickly darted out and let out a sigh of relief. There, crouched next to Papyrus on the couch was Jack. His little paws shot out, attempting to grasp the end of the skeleton’s scarf who was doing his best to prevent this by pulling it away. However, this seemed to only encourage him further and he followed its escape. 

You decided to put Papyrus out of his misery. You deftly seized the kitten and plopped yourself down next to your friend. You held out the naughty kitten proudly. “This is One Eyed Jack.” 

Papyrus held out a hand and gently took the kitten’s paw. “Hello! I am the Great Papyrus!” The kitten shot you a look before seizing his glove and sinking his little teeth into it. Papyrus winced slightly and patted him on the head. “You’re sort of violenty for a little one.” 

You chuckled. “Yes, yes. He is. I think I wanna keep him.”

“Really?” 

You chuckled. “I’m thinking about it.” An awkward silence settled between you and Papyrus and neither of you really looked at each other. Things were still strained slightly between you both, wavering wildly between friendship, romantic and outright disdainful at a moment’s notice.* There had been significant progress – hell at one point you weren’t even talking to each other. And it was better…but to be honest, you still didn’t know exactly where you each stood with each other. 

Papyrus cleared his throat. “You are perhaps wondering why I am here?”

You blinked. “Oh, uh, sure?” 

Papyrus leaned in and spoke very seriously. “Human, do you know what Christmas is?”

You stared at Papyrus. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“Oh! I asked if you knew what Christmas was?”

“You’re asking me if I know what Christmas is?”

“Yes. I’m not sure how up to date on human history you were.”

You stared at Papyrus, your vision only slightly obscured by the white fluffy ball resting against your forehead that was attached to the rest of an equally fluffy Santa hat. You glanced around your apartment that had been decked out in Christmas lights and pictures of reindeers and elves. A tree that still had most of its ornaments stood proudly in the corner of your small one bedroom. 

“I may have an idea,” You smirked.

“Excellent! Have you made the necessary preparations?”

You looked back at the rest of your apartment. “Like a tree? Yeah. I got a tree.” It was amazing what could fit in your little hatchback. Papyrus blinked and looked at your tree.

“Ah. Yes of course. You've hung the stockings over the fireplace?”

“Don't have one.”

Papyrus paused. “One what? A stocking? I can make you a stocking.”

“Er, no I have one from my parents. I just don't have a fireplace.”

“What?!?!”

“I live in an apartment, I mean…”

“You've got to have a fireplace!! How else will Santa deliver your presents?”

“Santa?”

“Yes. The jolly chubby man wearing a velvety red suit. Has a white beard. 

“No, I know who he is. Uh, I don't think Santa is going to bring me any gifts.”

Papyrus looked aghast. “Why not? Have you been naughty?”

You couldn't help but giggle. “Maybe…” Let’s just say, you weren’t going to be singing “The Virgin Mary Had a Baby Boy” anytime soon. Unless you really fucked up on taking your birth control...

Papyrus desperately continued. “There’s still time to get back on Santa's Nice List and have him come down the chimney!”

“But I don't have a chimney.”

“I know! I'll make you a chimney.”

“No. We can’t do that. I'll get evicted.”

“That's okay. You can live on the couch at my place.”

“Tempting.” You sighed. “But this Christmas Eve is going to be different!”

“Really?”

“Remember how I told you that I was going to my Grandma’s annual Christmas Eve Party.” He nodded. You grinned. “Well, I’m not going!”

“What?”

“Yup!” You swept up Jack and flopped onto the couch. “Gonna stay at home, watch some cartoons! And drink without judgment.” 

Papyrus scratched his skull. “As, uh, relaxing as that sounds, I thought your grandma’s party sounded wonderful. It was very kind of her to invite you.”

“She's a raging bitch.”

“Oh.”

You scoffed and petted Jack who pawed at your Santa hat. “My parents even found a way to get out of going. And my dad is her son. Her son.”

“That seems excessive.”

“It's not.” You sighed. “Listen, she always has to have the final say in everything that happens. It's ridiculous. And frustrating. And now I have the chance to get out by babysitting Jack, I’m going to take it.”

Papyrus placed the package on your table and leaned over you. “Really, you should give it a try, perhaps this year will be different,” Papyrus encouraged hopefully. 

You scoffed. “I doubt it.” You looked at him more closely. “You know, I totally forgot, why did you say you were here again?” You asked as he shuffled something on your table. 

Papyrus stiffened. “Oh, I was going to drop off my pre-personal babysitting services to you!” He corrected himself. 

You raised an eyebrow. “Your what now?” 

He straightened himself up. “My babysitting services! Yes! As you are probably are aware, I am the most responsible of caregivers!” 

You must be missing something. “Yes?”

“Ah, I see my reputation precedes me,” He flaunted. “Yes, as you know, I am on the know how of proper social norm and family functions. And I know you should always attend a prior engagement, especially with your elders! Therefore, I will stay here and babysit your new cat while you attend your grandparent’s function!” 

Your eyes shot open fearfully. “Wh-what?!”

He snatched Jack from your hands and held him joyfully. “Yes! There is no need to thank me!” 

You stood up quickly and stole Jack back. “No! No. You-you have a party of your own to attend! So there, you can’t babysit!” You protested. 

“Nyeh heh heh! The Queen’s party does not start until later this evening.” He stole Jack back who started to purr with the extra attention he was lavished with.

You glared at the skeleton. “Papyrus! She lives way out in those luxury hills outside of the city! And even if I am able to go, I won’t be back until 9pm and that’s if the roads aren’t too icy by that point!” 

You made a grab for the kitten only for Papyrus to sidestep you. He seized your outstretched hand and pulled you back into him. You landed roughly against his chest and looked up to tell him off when you realized how close your lips were to his teeth. He smiled knowingly. “There will be plenty of time for you to go and come back to me before I have to leave.” You’re sure you were blushing at this point.

You swallowed. “Come back to you?”

He coughed. “Nyeh, well, back to your home. Where I will be with my new fuzzy ward.” You bit your lip. He brought Jack back down to you with his free hand. Trust me.”

You sighed and planted a small peck on Jack’s head. Dammit, Papyrus. “Alright, alright. Let me go figure out what I’m going to wear.” 

~~~~~ 

You felt dumb as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. You did not have the legs for skirts, but here you were, sporting a black pencil skirt. There had been some form of formal, flowery top, but you had spotted that goofy Christmas sweater your mom had handed down to you and you quickly slipped that over as well. And now, you just looked a bit, well, silly.

“Are you ready?” Papyrus called from the living room.

No. “Yeah, uh, just a moment.”

With a heavy breath, you stepped out into the hallway from your bedroom and waited. Papyrus was quiet for a moment, and you debated walking back into your room to take off the Christmas sweater. However, he soon broke into a wide grin. “Human, you look very cool.”

He was smiling genuinely. Relief hit you harder than you would have thought. “Thank you. The sweater isn’t too much?” 

“Not at all! You look so stunningly festive!” 

You couldn’t but laugh at his geniality. “Papyrus, are you sure you want to do this?”

Papyrus nodded. “Of course. Do not worry, human. I will have plenty of time to get to the party and wait for Santa.” Uh, you were not quite sure if he was serious or not about Santa, but he seemed happy about it so you left it alone. Plus, who knows what Santa meant to monsters. He might actually be real after all for them. 

“Bummer, but please tell me if you change your mind, I'm more than happy to ditch the party and come back to you.”

Papyrus nodded. “But it is good to uphold your prior reservation.” It seemed there was no convincing him otherwise. With a resigned sigh, you stepped out and paged Lyber, the ridesharing app. That was probably the only way you would be able to make it to your grandparents’ party safely as you did not have snow chains for your car. Your ride showed up shortly thereafter and you stepped in. Maybe this evening wouldn't be so bad, especially if you had a kitten and a skeleton to go home to. Er, not like that. Uh…

Just, hopefully they should be okay. 

~~~~~

You knew this evening was going to be bad the minute the front door was opened. “Oh dear I'm so glad you could…” Your grandmother's greeting died in her throat and she stared at you and wonder.

“Hi, Grandma,” you greeted. “Yeah looks like my plans changed so I was able to come after all.”

She broke into a smile and ushered you in. “Well I am so happy that you were able to show up...unlike your parents.” You shrugged but said nothing, determined not to implicate your own family. “I must say that is an interesting outfit you have on,” your grandmother mused, “Although I’m quite sure I stressed that this was going to be a formal event, but I’m sure someone will find your sweater, well quaint.” 

You were not going to give her the satisfaction. “Thanks. A friend helped me with my wardrobe.” You honestly answered.

“Well, it was thoughtful of your friend to try.” You rolled your eyes when you knew she wasn't looking. And so it began. You had barely walked in more when you were forced to come to a dead stop, narrowly avoiding a head on collision with a gaggle of your young cousins as they screamed and ran around the house.

“Man, I'm glad I left Jack with Papyrus,” you muttered to yourself. This environment was chaotic even by your standards and you watched as your well-dressed cousins through toy trains around scream at the top of their lungs. Jack would have surely been trampled.

Already, you were imagining how much Jack would prefer your own apartment, especially to this. Your apartment was quiet, perhaps Jack would be able to take a good nap? Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing and you picked it up. Huh. It was the Papyrus. You answered it quickly, “Hello, Pap? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes everything is just fine. I just wanted ask if it was alright if Undyne came over for a bit to keep me company?”

Oh, that's cool. Cooler than here at least. “Yeah, that’s totally fine. Say hi to her for me.”

“Of course, tell your family I say hi.”

“Will do, thanks for your help, Papyrus. See you later.” You hung up the phone to see your grandmother had watched and listened to your entire conversation.

“Who was that? I don't think I've heard you mention this young gentleman?”

“Oh, that's my friend Papyrus. He's watching the kitten I'm taking care of for Christmas so I could come here.” Although you desperately would rather have stayed with the kitten. 

“That is awfully nice of him. Cats are pretty dirty creatures.” If she had a problem with pets in general, you can only imagine how she felt about monsters. You decided it was too early to start a fight, and you were not drunk enough to support the idea. “He has an interesting dialect,” she commented.

“Yes, he does.” 

“Is he a foreigner?”

“Yes?” She looked at you as if she waited for you to say more but you didn't. Finally, by the grace of God, she left you alone. Leaving you to your own devices.

~~~~~

If you could describe your grandmother's home in one word it would be opulent. Or gaudy. If there was a combination of those words it would be gaupulent. Yeah. Certainly she wasn't one of the wealthiest people you knew, but damn did she attempt to exude wealth. The presence of several chandeliers and statues of naked baby angels decorated and gold flakes seemed like a desperate attempt to make a home more valuable than it was. Or at least appear more fancy.

You spotted one of your cousins attempting to draw on one of said angels with a marker. Destructive little bastard. “Hey, do you know where Grandpa is?” 

“He's watching the game with Dad.” 

“Thank you.” The child soon ran off to rejoin the scuffle in the other room as he went to go look for the patriarch of the family. Sure enough, there sat your grandpa with a beer on the couch. And two of your uncles it looked like, watching a pre-recorded game on the television.

“Hey Grandpa, how you doing?”

Your grandfather looked up at you blearily. “Doing alright. Yourself? Staying out of trouble?”

“Mostly,” you admitted. 

He grunted and adjusted himself. You tried not to notice. “Grandma stopped by, says you got a Korean friend taking care of your cat?” 

“...What?”

He took a swig. “Yup. When you get home, maybe there won’t be a cat anymore.”

“Grandpa.”

“Cause he ate him.” 

“...”

“Damn Vietnamese kids these days.”

Why the fuck did you come over here again? “Whelp, uh, nice chatting you with. I’m going to go see if I can help out with dinner.” 

“Bye, hun.” The brief, uncomfortable conversation quickly ended and he mercifully returned his attention back to the television.

Maybe one of your aunts needed help in the kitchen. You left the man cave, and walks over helpfully to the kitchen area. There were two of your aunts, drinking. The smell of inebriation was thick in this area. “Hey, is there anything I can help you guys with?” 

“You can toss that and bring us another bottle of wine. We just finished this one,” one of the asked, gesturing to the empty bottle on the counter. 

“Oh. ah sure, is that it-ah.” You nearly tripped on two more bottles on the ground. They were empty as well. “Want me to take these two, too?” You asked. 

“Yesh, forgot about those.” You gathered the bottles in your arms and walked away to find the recycling bin. You nearly bumped into your grandmother. She eyed your load critically. 

“I see you already found where the holiday wine is kept, dear.”

“What? No, uh, I’m just trying to find your recycling container.”

“Oh, it’s over there. Remember alcohol still has calories,” She called helpfully as you walked past her. You dumped those bottles a little harder than you would have liked. You secretly hoped Papyrus was having a better time than you 

~~~~~

Your phone rang twice before you could answer it. And even then, it disconnected before you could pick it up. Papyrus had tried to call you but it appeared to have ended the call before you could pick up. “Huh.”

Your grandpa raised a lazy eye at you. “What?”

“Papyrus was calling, uh, but he ended the call before I could pick up.” 

"Maybe he was wondering where your oven was.”

“Grandpa…”

“To cook the cat.”

“No, Grandpa.”

“Cause he’s Chinese.” 

“...I’m going to call him, make sure everything’s okay.” You excused yourself as quickly as you could and retreated far away from your grandfather. You dialed Papyrus and waited curiously.

The line picked up after a ring. “Hello!” Papyrus’ chipper voice crackled over your speaker. 

You smiled. “Hey, Papyrus! I missed a call from you! Is everything okay?”

“Yes! Everything is absolutely fine! Nothing worrisome happening here.”

Well, that seemed...odd. “Uh...okay. Well how’s Jack?”

“Did he taste good?” Your grandfather hollered from the couch. 

“Oh my God, shut up!” You shouted before you could stop yourself. 

“Pardon?” Papyrus asked, astounded.

You slapped your forehead. “No, no, sorry, not you.”

“Ah. Well, Jack is...very...energetic.”

You laughed. “Sounds about right.” You could hear Undyne shouting something in the background. “Is Undyne there?”

“Yes. She is helping.”

As much as it was a relief to speak with someone normal, you felt slightly guilty for interrupting whatever was going on. “Well, it sounds like you guys are busy. But uh, feel free to call me if you want me.”

There was a pause on the other end. “So, should I call you right after you hang up or would you like a few minutes?” He responded confidently. 

You were caught off guard by the surprisingly flirty answer. You knew you were blushing. “OH! Ah, well, sure?” 

“Nyeh heh heh, then I shall - oh!” Undyne seemed to be shouting even louder now. You couldn’t make out what she was saying, but it apparently required Papyrus’ attention. “Drat, I’ll have to call you later.”

You smiled stupidly. “That sounds good. Say hi for me. I’ll see you later, cutie!” 

There was a kerscuffle and a delighted giggle before the line disconnected. 

~~~~~

You sat and watched your cousins continue to destroy your grandparents’ house. You were already halfway done with the glass of champagne you had poured yourself earlier which helped tone out the comments you heard your grandfather make about the players on the sports show he was watching. You pulled out your phone and played with the buttons absentmindedly. 

“Can not!”

“Can too!” 

"Can NOT!”

“Can TOO!” You blinked up lazily as you caught your two 6 year old, twin cousins begin to shove each other aggressively and shout. You glanced around. You had no idea where your aunt and uncle were. Fuck. 

“Hey! Hey! Knock it off!” You yelled, standing up and quickly separating the twins.

“She started it!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!” 

“Oh my God, no. Nobody is starting anything,” you quickly shut the argument down before it could escalate it another shoving match. The twins glared at each other reproachfully. “Seriously, what are you guys fighting about?” 

“Is it true that you can swallow your tongue?”

You blinked. “What?”

“Brittany says it’s not, but Johnny told me that you can. So can you?” 

“No. Johnny is dumb.”

“You’re just taking Brittany’s side because she’s prettier than me!” 

You rubbed your forehead. “You guys look exactly the same. Trust me on this, you can’t.”

“Prove it! Look it up on your phone.”

You shrugged and pulled up your phone. You quickly asked the internet. “Internet says no.”

“You could be lying! Let me hold the phone.” 

You bit your lip and quickly thought about all the photos and texts that you had on your phone. Were any of them dirty texts or photos? You quickly decided they were not and handed the phone to one of the twins. “Here, but give it back soon. I might get a call.” 

No sooner had the words left your mouth, your phone lit up with an incoming call. “Oh shi-shoot. Can I get that back?” You asked, reaching out. 

Instead, the little shithead answered it. “Hello?”

“Hello, this is Papyrus! Can you text me a picture of your pussy?” 

The chatter of the room dampened significantly at that outburst. Your heart dropped into your stomach as this line boomed out of your phone on speaker phone. Your stupid cousin must have accidentally tapped it with their sticky fingers. You were too shocked to immediately grab for the phone right away. 

“I wanted to show Sans what it looked like but if you could send me a photo, that would be great.” 

One of your drunk aunts was the first to speak. “What the hell is he talking about?”

“Oh my God,” you choked, yanking the phone out of your confused cousin’s hands. You quickly turned off speaker phone and dashed into the restroom. “Papyrus,” you hissed, “What the fuck?!” 

“Have I caught you at a bad time?”

“I-oh my god, you were on speaker phone,” you bemoaned.

“Oh. I would have wished everyone a Merry Christmas had I known!” 

You rubbed your head. “What do you want?” 

“Well, I wanted a photo of your pussy so I could show it to Sans.”

“My...what?”

“Eh, isn’t pussy another name for a cat?”

You paused for a few seconds. “Hold up. Sans is there, now?”

“Yes.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Well clearly I already knew it but he reminded me of this well known fact.” Of course he did. Fucking Sans.

You sighed and sat on the edge of the bathtub. “Technically he is right, but the correct phrase is pussy cat.”

“I will make note of that.”

Something wasn’t adding up. “You said Sans was there now?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you need a photo of Jack? Can’t you just pick him up and show him to Sans?”

“...”

Your eyes narrowed. “Jack is around to be picked up, right, Papyrus?”

“O-of course.”

“Papyrus, are you telling me the truth?”

“Well, yes. I have Jack. I just wanted to show Sans a picture of him...sleeping?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Sleeping?”

“Oh, hang on, Sans wants to talk to you.” 

“hey kid.”

“Hey Sans...did you guys lose my cat?”

“nah, i just wanted to see a picture of a sleeping pussy,” he purred, sending a jolt up your spine. “...preferably spread out on a bed.”

“O-oh!” You felt your face turn red. Sans was fucking with you. Er, metaphorically.

“That is a very odd request, Sans,” You could hear Papyrus criticizing in the background. 

“heh, i know, so what about it?”

You regained your composure, realizing now that Papyrus had been the accidental catalyst for Sans’ fucked up joke. “No can do. Maybe if you guys are good, I’ll send you a picture later.” 

“cool. well, good luck with your folks.”

“Yes, wish them Happy Holidays and apologize to them that I am calling so often.”

“Will do, see you guys later!” You disconnected the phone and reached to open the bathroom door when it opened on itself. You probably should have locked it, now that you thought about it. 

Your grandmother stood at the other side. “You know your parents would be so disappointed in you.”

“He was talking about the cat,” you tiredly explained. 

She raised a critical eyebrow. “The cat?”

“Yes, uh, he has a pretty big vocabulary and so he uses uncommon words for things…”

Your grandmother snorted. “Well, see that he refrains from such language in the future. Your cousins are yelling that word now and it’s really bothersome.”

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Want me to go explain?”

“No, just make yourself useful and hang these mistletoes around the house,” she huffed, pushing a bundle of mistletoe into your hands. 

She was really asking you, one of the shortest members of the family to hang the mistletoe? Fine. “Uh, sure, do you have a ladder?”

“It’s outside in the shed. Do not track any dirt nor snow in.” With that, she turned away.

“Fuck.”

~~~~~

You struggled to lift the ladder back into the shed which was definitely helped by your fingers which were sticky and prickly with the mistletoe leaves. You had hung all of the mistletoe. All of it. All around the house. Nobody would be safe. Your joy was short lived as the ladder scraped your ankles. “Ah, fuck, ow,” you groaned. Finally, you pulled the ladder all the way inside and propped it against the wall. “There, fucking finally. Ha. I think I earned another drink.”

You jumped in surprise as the shed doors slammed shut behind you. You whirled around suspiciously. “What the hell?” Dammit, you just knew it had to be one of your cousins. Those little kids could be a real pain in the ass sometimes. You scowled and walked blindly to the front doors. You pushed against them.

They didn’t budge. “Oh, really funny, guys. Seriously, open the doors.” 

Nothing. You slammed your shoulder into them. Still nothing. And now your shoulder hurt. “Ow! C’mon, seriously, it’s freezing in here!”

“Like, sorry about that,” a voice apologized behind you.

You shrugged. “It’s alright, can you just-” Your voice died in your throat. You didn’t recognize that voice. You turned around cautiously. 

Something large and metallic towered over you threateningly. Your eyes followed up the steely figure until you caught the sight of two floppy bunny ears. Huh. That was...different. Was it a monster. It looked like one. You couldn’t think of any humans that large that sported ears except possibly a playboy bunny on steroids. 

“Are you still, like, cold and stuff?” The nonhuman asked you.

“Uh...yes?” 

The armored monster seemed to light up at your response. “Oh that’s awesome. See, I got this burlap sac to capture you with and it’s really thick, so like, you’ll be super toasty in here.“

Your jaw dropped. Capture you? “Excuse me?”

“Yeah,” the monster pulled out a large burlap sack, “So just step in here and we’ll be on our way.” 

“No fucking way, dude,” You gasped in astonishment, “I’m not getting in the bag.”

The monster scratched the back of his helmeted head. “Aw man, this is super embarrassing then, cause, like, you don’t have a choice.” 

You barely had enough time to dodge as the monster lunged forward, bag in hand. You scrambled to your feet, grabbing various lawn maintenance tools and chucking them at the monster. He grabbed your sweater and pulled, forcing you to quickly ditch the outerwear. The cold starkness of the weather struck you immediately but you did not feel it over the adrenaline. “Fuck! Fuck! Leave me alone!” You backed up against the ladder and felt it topple forward. You hit the deck as the ladder knocked the monster backwards, smashing open the doors. You climbed over the ladder and monster and ran outside.

“Hey! Hey! Somebody help!” You yelled as you ran toward the house. You attempted to open the side door, only to find it locked. You darted toward the front, pulling out your phone and tried to hit 911 but hit redial instead. 

“Oh. No, wait, that’s good.” You realized out loud. It was Papyrus. Papyrus could help or at least get someone who could. The sound of a groan caught your attention and you fearfully turned around. 

The bunny monster had risen to his feet amongst the collapsed doors of the shed. “Like, team attack!” he called

“Team what now?” You questioned. Your eyes shot open as a flurry of magic launched toward you. You tripped backwards trying to dodge and landed against the feet of another metalized monster. The magic that didn’t hit you struck the side of your grandparents’ house. Maybe that would get their attention.

“Hello?” Papyrus voice greeted on the phone.

You quickly jerked the phone to your face. “Papyrus! Help me! Help!” You shrieked way more pathetically than you would have liked. The Monster you had crashed against pulled you up, knocking the phone from your hands.

“Lori?! What’s wrong?” His voice called worriedly from the fallen phone on the snow.

You struggled as you felt your hands quickly bound behind you. “Let go of me! Somebody help me!” You tried to scream again, only to feel a gauntlet clamp over your mouth. Your shouts were muffled as the first Monster picked up your phone and hung it up. 

“Like, we’re just going to capture you, geez,” he scolded, “huh, bro?”

“...yes,” a deep voice intoned behind you.

Like that made everything better? You kicked as you were dragged to the back of an open van. “Like seriously, you’re really overreacting.” You looked toward the house and a flare of hope lit up. Your extended family was finally looking out the window...at the house. Fuck. The flare had all been extinguished until one of the twins looked in your direction and pointed. 

“Into the bag we go!” 

Your grandparents finally looked in your direction right before your vision turned to burlap.

~~~~~

You grumbled angrily as you lay on the bed of the van, unsure of your surroundings save for the chatter of your assailants. It was bad enough that you were basically blind and bound, but to add insult to injury, they had actually pulled over and gagged you after you had swore and screamed enough. You made sure to bite the bunny soldier in the hand. The other soldier (he had some form of lizard frill features visible through his helmet but you weren’t entirely sure) well, he kissed his hand to make it better. And it probably would have been cute if they weren’t kidnapping you.

Bastards even took your phone which you could hear ringing almost nonstop from the front of the vehicle. “Bro, she’s like really popular, she’s gotten like 12 missed calls,” You heard the first one say. 

“...yeah, bro.” 

You rolled your eyes. Well, that was probably Papyrus. He probably knew that most humans didn’t normally end their calls screaming for help. Fuck. You wiggled your arms, trying to loosen your bindings but it was no go. Looks like you were dealing with professionals. Ugh. Was it to much to ask for you to be tied up by someone that you at least liked romantically?

….Wow, you’re all kinds of fucked up, aren’t you? What, did you want Papyrus to tie you up? Kinda? Well, uh, would he? No, there’d be no way in hell. Besides, you didn’t have the balls to ask him. You had been in far more serious relationships and had never dared to even broach the subject. Nope. You just had to settle for getting kidnapped by random weirdos/fuck buddies. 

“Bro, we should stop.” The second monster spoke up now.

“Huh, bro?”

“...stop the car, bro.”

“What? Why-Oh! Woah!” You rolled forward as they slammed on the brakes. You shrieked in alarm and groaned as you collided against the metal wall. If you could swear, you would be doing so. “Whew that was close! What is he thinking, standing in the middle of the road like that.”

“He’s still there, bro.” 

“That’s really weird. Hey! You! Like, uh, can you move. We’re on an important assignment.”

“...he’s not moving, bro.” 

“I wonder what he wants.”

“I’ll go, bro.”

“Be careful.” You could hear the door open and shut as the second monster must have left the car. It was quiet for a bit. You waited tensely. Please be a police officer.

“Hey! Hey! Stop that!!” The first Monster shouted from the front. “Are you listening? Get your hands off his merch!” The van rocked as the door opened and closed. You wiggled helplessly like a cocooned caterpillar. You could hear a lot of shouting.

Something hit the van super hard and it rocked back and forth roughly. You squealed. What the fuck was going on out there? You wiggled a bit uselessly only to flop onto your belly as something collided with the van once more. Finally the shouting stopped and it was quiet. You tensed as you heard the back doors of the van click and squeak as they were opened. 

Someone panted above you. “L-lori? Are you in here?” It was Papyrus. You squealed and wiggled eagerly. “Eh, I’m going to take that as a yes.” You felt his hands upon you and in a few seconds, you were pulled out of the burlap sack. Papyrus looked you over. “Are you alright?”

You nodded, still rendered mute by the gag. Papyrus lifted you out of the bed of the van and placed you carefully on the snow. Now that you could see, you quickly scouted for the other Monsters. They seemed fairly winded and leaned against each other, breathing heavily. There were two large monster dents in the sides of the van. You looked up in surprise at Papyrus who grinned weakly. He looked pretty exhausted and was holding his chest protectively. 

“So you’re probably wondering why you’re here, and I’m here, and the royal guards are here,” Papyrus began awkwardly. 

“Hey! We had orders from the Captain, okay?” The rabbit guard wheezed.

“Ah, yes, but uh,” Papyrus tried to explain. He looked rather abashed. You eyed him suspiciously. Your savior knew more than he was letting on. “Ah, hang on one moment.” A line of blue bones shot up in around the Guards and they blinked in surprise. “I need a moment with the human, alone, okay?” 

“Uh, yeah sure.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you.” Papyrus lifted you back into the van, despite your protests, and climbed in after you. What the hell was going on? You scooted back to allow him room until your back made contact with the wall. Your body threatened to fall over and you had to manspread your legs to keep you from falling over. Papyrus glanced over and did a double take and you blushed. Why hadn’t you chosen a longer skirt. Then again, you hadn’t anticipated getting kidnapped. He shut the doors after him and crawled over to you. 

Your heartbeat shamefully shot up at your compromised position and your proximity to Papyrus. He approached you carefully. “So, er, I would like to take the gag off, but you have to promise not to get mad, okay?”

You cocked your head at him and nodded slowly. He smiled gratefully and untied your mouth gag. “Bleh, oh my gosh,” you gasped, sticking your tongue out, “Thank you for sav-”

“I lost Jack.”

Your mouth hung open. “You...lost...Jack?” You gasped.

“Well, yes, technically.”

“What the fuck, Papyrus?!?!” You shouted, startling the skeleton. “How could you-mmph!” Your eyes widened as he regagged you guiltily. 

“You promised not to get mad!” He reminded you, holding his hand over his chest. You screamed angrily at him through the gag. “I lost Jack - but I found him again!”

You stopped screaming and panted through your gag. He took that as his cue to continue. But honestly, what choice did you really have but to let him continue? “You see, he was lost. I had burned dinner in your kitchen and Undyne came over and we left the door open to let all the smoke out. But then we couldn’t find him. And Undyne didn’t know what he looked like but she helped me look. But then he attacked me!”

Good. He deserved it. The unsympathetic look you shot him made him laugh awkwardly. “Yes, fair enough, I suppose. But then, he got stuck.” What? Papyrus tried to explain. “Well, he’s not stuck, but he won’t come out and Undyne tried but her hands are too big and I really don’t want Sans poking in there as well.”

His discomfort increased by the second. What was he talking about? Where exactly was Jack hiding? “Undyne figured I would probably accept your help, which I would but only if you wanted to and I absolutely do not want to force you.” And yet, here you sat, still tied and regagged. “So she asked two of the Royal Guards to bring you back. And well, I didn’t agree with how she went and did this so I followed them up and well, stopped them.” You were slightly impressed that he was still intact after possibly taking on those larger Monsters.

“But, I had to be really careful when I stopped them because I didn’t want to hurt Jack.” You blinked. He had brought Jack? Where? You didn’t see his carrier. And why did Papyrus keep touching his chest? Seriously was he trying to shine his armor or- 

Papyrus’ chest meowed.

What?

It meowed again and then purred.

Oh my God. No. 

Papyrus met your horrified eyes and nodded shamefully. “Jack is inside my ribcage and he will not come out.”

The doors slammed open and a bright white light blinded you both. You blinked confusedly at it as the sound of a megaphone blasted loudly into the van. “THIS IS THE POLICE! MONSTER! HANDS IN THE AIR NOW AND STEP AWAY FROM THE HOSTAGE!”

Papyrus shot his hands up, you fell over and Jack hissed.

The fuck was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! We are saved...and we have so, so many questions. 
> 
> This story will be finished by Christmas, dammit and will consist of 3-4 chapters. With one chapter most likely being an optional additional ending to this story. 
> 
> *based on events that have happened/are happening in Must Love Animals where Pap and the reader dated only for him to accidentally stand reader up under suspicious circumstances.[ **Must Love Animals**](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6440320)


	2. How did the kitten get in the skeleton?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day. (Not gonna lie, I did have most of this already written out and I felt these two POVs needed to be paired)
> 
> Hope you guys are enjoying this! :D

Earlier that night on the other side of town…

“Of course, tell your family I say hi.”

“Will do, thanks for your help, Papyrus. See you later.” 

As Papyrus disconnected the phone, he couldn’t help but be fascinated with how dexterous a kitten was. The minute you had left, he had watched it tear across your living room like a rabbit. He carefully shuffled across the apartment so as not to step on Jack. “Wowie! You sure like to exercise!” Papyrus exclaimed after the kitten made another roundabout the living room and leapt onto his boot. “It is very nice of the human to allow me to invite Undyne. I think she is really going to like you. Especially your cool battle scar,” Papyrus praised.

He winced as Jack bit into the boot. “Yes, you and her would be good friends.” He attempted to remove Jack only for the kitten to seize his gloves and bite into that too. “Stop that. Why are you doing that?” The kitten eyed the skeleton scarf and made a grab for it. Papyrus dodged the attempt. “Are you hungry?” He finally asked.

Of course! How could he have had been so forgetful! “All that exercise must   
certainly have given you such an appetite!” Papyrus exclaimed. “I believe the human said your food was around here!” He placed the kitten back down and walked over to where you had said the food bowls were. Jack followed him curiously. “Ah here we are.” Papyrus picked up the bowl and frowned at it. It appeared to be a bunch of oddly shaped rocks. Now he wasn’t too familiar with non skeletal anatomy, but he was pretty sure that cats did not eat rocks. And therefore it stood to reason that little cats probably did not eat rocks. Or maybe they did. Either way, Jack found Papyrus’ boot more fascinating than the dish of rocks you had prepared for him. 

“Clearly, I must cook you a meal that will help you gain strength for when you do, er, whatever adult cats do,” Papyrus announced, shuffling to the kitchen. Now to figure out where your pots and pans were. 

~~~~~

The first thing Undyne could hear when she approached your door was the smoke alarm. The second thing she noticed was the smell of burnt food. She smiled. Sounds like everything was going well. She knocked on the door. “Hey Pap!” She called. 

The door swung open and Papyrus smiled widely. “Hello Undyne! Please come in! I’m just putting out the last fire!” His friend stepped in. 

“Sweet, how much of her home did she say we could burn down?” Undyne asked eagerly. 

“Eh, none.” 

“Damn. Want me to leave the door open to let some of the smoke out?”

“Yes, please!” Papyrus thanked. 

Undyne left the door to allow some of the cold, unburnt air in and went to inspect the damage. There was burnt noodles that had stuck to the bottom of pot. “I thought you were going to wait for me before we starting cooking Lori's Christmas surprise.”

“I know but One Eyed Jack seemed rather hungry after his spar session so I wanted to make him a snack.”

Undyne raised her eyebrow. “Who's One Eyed Jack?”

Papyrus lit up. “Oh he's a baby cat. He should be right over here.” The skeleton gestured to the couch. 

Undyne blinked. “So, uh can it turn invisible?”

“I don't believe so. Why?”

“Because I don't see it.” Papyrus quickly turned to the couch. The kitten was gone. 

“Hmm. He was just here. He is a very fast creature. One moment while I find him.”

Undyne grinned. “He sounds pretty cool.” The sound of her cell phone ringing made her smile even wider. “Whoops hang on. I got a call from the bae.” 

“Bae?”

“I saw it on a show, it's like a super secret term of liking someone,” Undyne told him. She picked up the line and steadied her voice even as she fidgeted nervously. “Hey bae! Oh! Uh, no, I know it is you, Alphys.” 

Papyrus began to check under chairs as Undyne continued her conversation. “Huh, yeah, I just got here. Pap was going to show me Lori’s baby cat.” There was an excited squeak on the other line. “Huh? A picture? Uh, sure. When we find it, I’ll send you a pic. Hang on! Papyrus!” Undyne called.

“Yes, Undyne?”

“I think all the smoke is out now, you can shut the front door now….huh?” Papyrus glanced over at his friend as he shut the door. She appeared to be listening intently. “Uh, maybe it’s been open for about 5 minutes. Oh, er, let me ask.” She pulled the phone away from her fin and called to Papyrus. “Hey, Pap, you don’t think Jack got out the front door.” 

Papyrus shrugged. “I really hope not.” He could hear some yelling on the phone. Undyne blanched before holding out the phone to her bestie.

“Uh...Alphys wants to talk to you.”

Papyrus plucked the phone from her and held it to his skull. “Hello, Dr. Alphys!” 

“A-are you kidding me right now?! You lost her cat?!” The scientist’s voice crackled through the line. 

“He’s not lost. I just don’t know where he is right now.” 

“You-you need to find him! It’s too cold outside for a cat and cats are the most beloved creatures on the internet!!” 

Papyrus looked around nervously. This was more serious than he thought. He didn’t realize that the baby cat would go outside in the chilly weather. Perhaps, Alphys would know differently if he mentioned it was a baby cat. “Eh, actually it’s a kitten.”

“Oh my God! She is going to be devastated!” Papyrus bit his glove. That revelation just seemed to make matters worse. 

“What does it look like?” Undyne hollered as she lifted up the couch, “Do you have a picture?”

Papyrus shook his head. “Uhh. It’s a baby cat.”

“What’s a baby cat look like? Does it look like a cat girl? I’ve seen a couple of those.” 

Alphys choked. “I-i’ll text you a photo! Hang, on, I’ll call you back soon.”

The phone disconnected and in a few seconds vibrated with the arrival of a multimedia message. Undyne and Papyrus opened it up and stared at it. “Wow, uh, baby cats sure have big eyes.”

“I don’t remember Jack having a square pastry for a body.” Papyrus hesitated. “Perhaps, I should call the human and ask?”

Undyne shook her head. “Not yet. She'll probably think something's up. I'm going to check the bedroom. You continue searching the kitten.”

Papyrus saluted and began having excavation of your kitchen while she walked into your room. She had barely started to pull clothes out of your closest when she heard a startled yelp from the kitchen and dashed in. “Papyrus! You okay?”

Papyrus grabbed at his scarf. “I think he jumped on me!” Undyne quickly circled her friend, patting him down as she did. “He must still be on me. I didn’t see him jump off.”

Undyne raised an eyebrow. “Well, I can’t find him. Are you sure?”

Papyrus scratched his skull. “I am absolutely sure. I can still feel him on me.” 

Undyne laughed. “Well, unless he climbed into your battle body, he’s not on you.”

Papyrus started to laugh but stopped quickly. “Eh, Undyne..”

~~~~~

“What are you doing?! Don’t call her!” Undyne yelled as Papyrus attempted to dial you again.

“Why not?” He asked, “Perhaps she would know what to do?” 

Undyne shook her head. “Even if she does, she’s going to think we are terrible babysitters! Don’t call her!” Papyrus realized the logic of his friend’s words and quickly hung up his cellphone before the call could be connected. 

“Whew, that was a close one.”

His phone rang. You were calling back. Undyne and him made eye contact and she nodded slowly. “It’s going to look more suspicious if you don’t pick up at all.” 

Papyrus puffed out his chest. “Don’t worry. I know how to be super casual about this. Trust me, she won’t suspect a thing.”

Undyne smiled. “You got this.”

Papyrus took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hello!”

“Hey, Papyrus! I missed a call from you! Is everything okay?”

Papyrus shot a thumbs up at Undyne. “Yes! Everything is absolutely fine! Nothing worrisome happening here.” She faceplanted.

“Uh...okay. Well how’s Jack?” Papyrus was about to answer when you suddenly yelled, “Oh my God, shut up!” 

Had he done something wrong? He hadn’t thought so. “Pardon?”

“No, no, sorry, not you.”

“Ah. Well,” He didn’t want to directly lie about the cat’s current situation. “Jack is...very...energetic,” he admitted, choosing his words carefully.

“Get off the phone, Pap,” Undyne was pushing Papyrus now. This short nonchalant conversation had lengthened.

“Sounds about right.” 

“Pap, hang up!” 

“Is Undyne there?” You asked. Papyrus relaxed, more than happy to tell you about his friend.

“Yes. She is helping.”

“Well, it sounds like you guys are busy. But uh, feel free to call me if you want me.”

Papyrus was about to speak when an idea racked his skull. He hadn’t really flirted with you that much today. Perhaps some flirting would definitely distract you from any doubts about Jack. As suavely and smoothly as he could, he asked, “So, should I call you right after you hang up or would you like a few minutes?” 

Undyne couldn’t help herself and snorted as Papyrus struck a pose. Judging by your answer, you appeared to be caught off guard as well. “OH! Ah, well, sure?” 

Flirting Success! 

Papyrus decided to ramp it up a bit. “Nyeh heh heh, then I shall - oh!” Undyne really was hitting his arm now.

“C’mon, Pap. We gotta fix this.”

Perhaps another time, he supposed. “Drat, I’ll have to call you later.”

“That sounds good. Say hi for me. I’ll see you later, cutie!” 

Papyrus felt himself stumble back in surprise at the cute nickname. Undyne finally seized the phone and hung up as he started to giggle. 

Papyrus felt incredibly smug at the moment. “Nyeh heh heh!” He chortled victoriously. 

Undyne shot him an approving look. “That was real smooth, Pap. You’re turning into a lady killer.”

“I prefer Cassanova,” he answered unabashedly. A rattle in his chest broke up the celebration and he looked down.

Undyne groaned. “Oh man, he’s under your battle armor. Can you take it-”

“No.” 

“Okay...uh, can you reach him?”

Papyrus reached under his armor and attempted to snag Jack. His chest began to hiss and Papyrus withdrew his arm. “I am unable to reach him,” he admitted. 

“Lemme try,” Undyne asked. Papyrus hesitated. “I’ll be careful, okay, Pap?”

“Alright. But be careful. Underneath this rugged exterior is a very delicate balance of highly trained bones and emotions,” Papyrus informed her.

“Oh my God,” Undyne chuckled before extending a scaly hand out and underneath his battle body. Papyrus went rigid and Undyne couldn’t help but bite her lip nervously. She hugged the inside of the armor and felt around as quickly and nondisruptive as she could. No sign of Jack...whatever Jack was. Her claw came into contact with something soft and fuzzy. She followed it and realized too late when Papyrus left out a sharp gasp that it was sticking out from between his ribs. “Ah, sorry, Pap.”

“It’s-it’s alright.”

She gave a tentative tug on the fuzzy stick and it was yanked from her fingers with a howl and a hiss. Something sharp scratched her scale and she grinned. “If that’s Jack, I think he and I are going to get along just fine.”

“Did you get him?”

Undyne’s hand hovered where his rib cage should be as realization set in. “Yeah, uh...Pap, I think he’s actually...inside you.”

“...What do you mean inside me?”

“I mean, he’s IN you. He’s inside YOU!”

“who’s inside who?”

Papyrus quickly shook out of confusion to greet his brother. “Oh hello, Sans!”

“Sans?!” Undyne gasped, quickly jerking her hand out of Papyrus’ armor, causing him to gasp out in shock as she inevitably hit the bottom row of his ribs. “Weren’t you at the Queen’s house?”

Sans stood there, the ever present smile on his skull. “yeah, funny thing, the doc was kinda freaking about, talking about cats and the internet, so i figured i’d come over and see what was going on.” He continued to smile but the fish warrior could feel the pinpricks of his sockets focused on her. “gotta admit, did not expect to see this.”

Undyne felt herself go red as Papyrus coughed indignantly. “Of course not! Undyne was trying to remove Jack from my body.”

“...jack?” 

She wiped her forehead. “He’s the cat we were babysitting, uh, crap. I better call Alphys and let her know we found the cat.” Sans stepped aside to allow the monster to escape out the front door. He turned his attention to his brother who was glowering at his chest. 

“I am very disappointed in you.”

“sorry.”

“No, not you...unless, did you pick up your socks?”

“maybe later.”

“Then I am disappointed in you as well.” 

“wanna tell me what’s up?” 

Papyrus sighed. “I was supposed to be watching Jack. And I unfortunately have done my job too well. He has taken residence inside me.” 

“huh. like your battle body?”

“No, Undyne thinks he is in my chest.” Sans paused for a moment before breaking out into a wider grin. “Sans, no.”

“i bet having him is a big rib tickler.” 

“Sans! This is serious!”

“are you pawsitive?”

“UGH!” 

“want me to try to get him out?”

Papyrus mulled over the offer before slowly shaking his head. “I’d rather not have anyone else stick their hands in here,” he admitted, “a skeleton is entitled to some form of privacy.”

“that's fine. want me to try to coax him out?”

“That's a great idea, Sans! He clearly finds skeletons very soothing so if he hears you, he'll come to you as well.”

Sans patted Papyrus on the shoulder. “thanks bro, let's give it a shot.” He leaned in and began to click his teeth. “here pussy, pussy, pussy.”

“Sans, it’s not a pussy, it’s a cat.”

“it’s another name for a cat,” Sans chuckled, “see?” Papyrus paused. The kitten did appear to be moving within his chest.

“Hmm, yes, he does appear to react more to that.”

Sans nodded. “yeah, so are you sure that he’s in there?”

“Of course!” 

“it’s not another pussy cat?”

“That’s preposterous!” 

“did you see him go in?” 

“Well, no.”

“and, the door was open, huh?”

Papyrus opened and closed his jaw decisively. “I did not consider that.”

“you have a picture you can show me so i know i’m grabbing the right cat?”

“Eh, no, but the human may. I’ll need to ask her tactfully though so as not to raise any suspicion.”

Sans leaned back and gave him a thumbs up. “i’m sure you’ll think of something, bro.”

Papyrus puffed out his chest proudly, trying to ignore the purring that vibrated within. “Of course I will! Listen and learn, brother!” He dialed you and waited for you to pick up. 

An odd voice picked up, “Hello?” Hmm, it sounded like you had a cold. Perhaps it would be best if he was direct with his request. 

“Lori! Hello, this is Papyrus! Can you text me a picture of your pussy?” Sans’ sockets widened and he immediately muffled himself to avoid laughing hysterically. Papyrus shot him a disdainful look. Really, he was trying to be a comedian at this time? “I wanted to show Sans what it looked like but if you could send me a photo, that would be great.” 

“Oh my God,” your voice sounded normal now. There seemed to be a loud commotion in the background. 

Papyrus scratched his head and whispered as best as he could to Sans. “I’m not sure, but I think I was on speaker phone.” Sans was practically wiping away tears at this point, vibrating with laughter. 

“Papyrus, what the fuck?!” 

He tensed. That was certainly a change from how your last phone call had ended. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”

“I-oh my god, you were on speaker phone,” you explained, confirming his suspicions. 

Drat. A missed opportunity to spread more Christmas cheer. “Oh. I would have wished everyone a Merry Christmas had I known!” 

“What do you want?” 

Ah. The direct approach once more. Papyrus could handle this. “Well, I wanted a photo of your pussy so I could show it to Sans.”

“My...what?”

Your response made him pause. “Eh, isn’t pussy another name for a cat?”

“…Hold up. Sans is there, now?”

Papyrus glanced at his brother who had finally finished silently laughing. You must have had good hearing to have heard him. “Yes.”

“Did he tell you that?”

“Well clearly I already knew it but he reminded me of this well known fact.” He bragged. 

You sighed. “Technically he is right, but the correct phrase is pussy cat.”

Ah. A simple mistake that could be fixed. “I will make note of that.”

“You said Sans was there now?”

“Yes.”

“Why do you need a photo of Jack? Can’t you just pick him up and show him to Sans?” Papyrus nearly choked. Nyeh! How had he been so foolish?!

“...”

“Jack is around to be picked up, right, Papyrus?” There was an accusatory tone in your voice.

“O-of course,” He attempted to recover, feeling himself sweat. For such a small human, you could certainly become quite unnerving.

“Papyrus, are you telling me the truth?”

“Well, yes. I have Jack. I just wanted to show Sans a picture of him...sleeping?” He was grasping at straws now. 

“Sleeping?”

Sans had apparently seen enough and motioned for Papyrus to hand him the phone. He breathed a silent thank you before speaking to you once more. “Oh, hang on, Sans wants to talk to you.” 

Sans took the phone from his brother. “hey kid.”

“Hey Sans...did you guys lose my cat?” Papyrus flinched. Hopefully his brother would not buckle under pressure.

“nah, i just wanted to see a picture of a sleeping pussy...preferably spread out on a bed.” His younger brother shot him an odd look. He admired the addition of flair to this white lie but that seemed a bit excessive. 

“That is a very odd request, Sans,” Papyrus criticized, unable to hear what your response had been. 

“heh, i know, so what about it?” Your voice was low and he could not pick up on it. Whatever answer you had given made Sans smile even wider which provided a great sense of relief. It was always nice to see Sans genuinely smile. “cool. well, good luck with your folks.”

“Yes, wish them Happy Holidays and apologize to them that I am calling so often,” Papyrus shouted, realizing that Sans was ending the call. It was only then when he was sure the phone had been hung up, that he started to rebuke his brother. “Sans! You bone head. It’s pussy cat, not pussy.”

“whoops, sorry. i guess i wasn’t thinking.”

Papyrus sighed. “Still, that was very close. She is very clever for a human. Perhaps if she had remained on the line longer, she would have realized what was up.”

“well let's see if we can lure him out with something tasty.”

“I swear to god, if you bring Grillbys here, I will disown you.”

“i was thinking tuna but a burg might be better.”

“Sans!”

“i'm just pulling your funny bone, pap. let’s see what she’s got in the cupboards.”

~~~~~

Several cans of tuna, pineapple and spam later, there sat two skeletons, still kittenless. Technically. Jack appeared to have fallen asleep. Which could not probably count as progress.

Sans groaned from his spot on the floor, “do you want me to try to reach up there again?”

“I appreciate the help, brother, but this is a very sensitive area and I can't just let everyone go spelunking around up there,” Papyrus admitted, rubbing his chest thoughtfully.

“How about the human?” the skeleton brothers looked to see Undyne in the doorway, looking very proud. 

“What about her?”

“I bet you'd let her touch you,” Undyne suggested mischievously. 

Papyrus turned bright orange. “Oh, well I didn't expect, uh not that I thought or had odd dreams about her doing that or us touching like that…”

“But if she asked, would you?”

“I suppose…” Papyrus answered, trying to ignore his brother who looked like he was about to burst into laughter any moment. 

Undyne beamed proudly. “Awesome, well she should be on her way here shortly.”

Sans cocked his skull at her. “that's convenient.”

Papyrus nodded enthusiastically. “Indeed! How did you know she was coming back this soon?”

“Oh I made a few phone calls.”

“phone calls?”

Papyrus’ phone rang. Undyne smiled as he retrieved it. “Well, technically I only had to make one.”

“Hello?”

The sound of you screaming pierced through the phone speaker like a knife. “Papyrus! Help me! Help!”

“Lori?! What’s wrong?’

“Let go of me! Somebody help me! Ahhh! Mmmph! Mmmph!” the sound of your muffled cries cut off as your phone was disconnected. 

Papyrus stared in shock at his phone and Undyne suddenly felt the heat of Sans’ gaze on her. “so, what did you do, captain?

~~~~~

Papyrus finally had to pull over as his car slid once more. Man, how did humans make it look so simple driving on snow? He had to drive very carefully and very slowly. A couple of drivers had tried to be helpful and honked their horns when they passed him so he wouldn't stray out of the lane by accident. There had been a particularly treacherous part that he just passed that nearly had him roll his car down the hill. 

He knew the Royal Guard had already gotten a head start on him. Bits of what Undyne had told him rattled through his school as he exited the vehicle to check for any damage. 

“Alphys was able to get Lori’s address by hacking that ride app and seeing her most recent destination…so, uh, RG01 and RG02 have got to be like halfway there by now, Pap. Your best bet is to try to beat them there because I know that won’t give her to you once they have her. Willingly that is.” She winked at that last part and he wasn’t quite sure why.

He tapped the tires of his car to knock off some of the caked on snow and ice. Golly, how useful would it be for someone to invent something to make tires stick to snow better! Alas, no one had so it would have to be up to Papyrus to carry the mantle on that once the holidays were over. 

Headlights shone on him as a vehicle approached. He should warn them about that rough spot ahead. He stepped out in front and held out his hand to tell them to halt. The large white van continued to speed toward him and he contemplated whether they could see him or not. Of course they could. He was a skeleton. A white skeleton in the snow would be very easy to spot. But just in case, he removed his red scarf and waved it helpfully. 

The trucks brakes squealed as its driver hit the brakes with such a ferocity, he's surprised that it didn't tip over. The vehicle finally came to a halt a few feet away from him and he waited patiently for the driver to emerge. Finally, the passenger side opened and a large, familiar Monster stepped out. 

Papyrus brightened considerably. How fortuitous! It was RG02! And judging by the fact that they were heading down the hill, they must have already collected you. He walked toward the Monster, waving. “Greetings! How are you this evening?”

The Guard regarded him casually. “…good. On a mission.” 

Papyrus nodded. “Yes! Captain Undyne ordered you to capture the human, yes?” The Guard nodded. “And you have her now?” Another nod. Papyrus clasped his hands together gratefully. “That is excellent!” He cleared his throat and straightened himself up as much as he could. “Well, your mission is now complete. You may now hand the human over to me.”

“…can’t.”

“Nyeh? I mean, why not?”

“…orders to bring her to her place to help you.”

Papyrus pointed to himself. “Well, I’m here now. So that counts, right?”

RG02 hesitated before shaking his head. “…have to bring her to her home first.”

Papyrus gaped at the Guard. “Seriously?”

“Orders are orders. Step aside, please.” 

The skeleton made a motion to do so until he heard a meow from inside his chest. He had Jack. Could he really wait until they brought you home before he could request your assistance? What if Jack fell out before then? You had trusted him to take care of Jack and if that happened, well, he would be ashamed. 

Instead, Papyrus stood his ground. “I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid I will not. Now if you excuse me, I would like to have my human back.” 

RG02 shook his head. “I do not wish to hurt you.”

“Neither do I.” 

RG02 assumed a battle stance. “But I will.”

“Ah. Good to know.” Papyrus ducked as a barrage a diamond projectiles shot toward him. He attempted to roll only to hear Jack meow angrily within him. He stopped, painfully taking the hit instead. 

Papyrus had to be extra careful about how he maneuvered himself with a kitten in his chest. Knowing that a particularly acrobatic move or too strong of a hit could really hurt Jack made him realize the gravity of the situation. Speaking of which!

Papyrus slammed a blue glowing glove down and RG02’s soul toppled down with it. Before the guard could recover, the skeleton dashed forward and kicked him square in the chest, knocking him to the ground. Papyrus attempted to spare. 

“Get your hands off his merch!” Another voice yelled. Papyrus looked up to see RG01 jumping out of the car and charging him, sword held high and flinging barbed cones in his direction. 

Papyrus chucked a bony shield out, deflecting the majority of the bullets. RG01 burst through the shield in a matter of moments lunged. “I’m sorry about this,” Papyrus apologized, using another blue attack on RG01. The Royal Guard felt his momentum reversed on him and was flung backwards like a ragdoll. He landed against the side of the van, leaving an imprint as he dazedly slid down. 

“01! No!” In a moment, Papyrus had his legs kicked out from under him by a furious RG02 and he braced his chest for the fall. Jack sounded quite angry now and Papyrus realized he should really hurry this up before the kitten was flung out by accident. As RG02 advanced upon his fallen form, Papyrus quickly cast a blue projectile from behind his opponent and jerked it forward.

The Guard spotted it a moment too late. It collided with his turning head, knocking him flat on his face. Papyrus jumped to his feet and ran toward the van. He had just about reached it when he heard RG02 quickly charging him from behind. Papyrus sidestepped the guard at the last moment and slammed him against the other side of the van, leaving a similar imprint. 

The skeleton sucked in some much needed oxygen, having not engaged in a battle like this in a while. He quickly spared and the Guards sluggishly nodded their heads. With that, he ran to the back of the van and opened the doors. The van was bare save for a your sweater that was bunched in the corner and a large burlap sack in the center. “L-Lori?” He panted, “Are you in here?” The sack wiggled and made noises eagerly. That was mostly likely you. “Eh, I’m going to take that as a yes,” he informed the bag, quickly pulling it to him and untying the top. 

A great sense of relief swept over him as he pulled you out. You were okay. You certainly looked flustered and disheveled, but still, you appeared unharmed. Papyrus wasn’t sure how he would have felt if this was not the case, but the twist in his chest did not indicate it was something for him to dwell on him. “Are you alright?”

You nodded and he realized you had been gagged. He almost tittered at that. You had a mouth on you but to gag you, you must have said some pretty foul stuff to the Royal Guards. He placed you carefully on the snow, not wanting to accidentally let you slip. You quickly looked around, allowing him a moment to look at you more closely. Your body was flushed from what appeared exertion and your entrapment. Your clothes hugged you much more tightly than he remembered. He couldn’t help but notice with some interest that your shirt clung to your chest, allowing him a much more defined appearance of your…er…perhaps he shouldn’t look there for now. 

He returned his focus on your face and noted that you appeared quite bewildered by your surroundings. His smile trembled slightly from exhaustion and he placed a hand over his chest. Yup. Jack was still there. Mission was still a success. But now, he needed to ask for your help. Hopefully you would be responsive to it.

“So you’re probably wondering why you’re here, and I’m here, and the royal guards are here,” Papyrus began awkwardly. 

“Hey! We had orders from the Captain, okay?” The rabbit guard wheezed after him.

Papyrus felt rather guilty about that still. Yes, they were following Captain Undyne but if only they had just heard him out, maybe they could have avoided all of this. “Ah, yes, but uh,.” Your eyes appeared to regard her more critically. Perhaps it would be best to explain things to you privately. And the only place that even remotely came close to that was the van from whence he just rescued you from. 

“Ah, hang on one moment.” Before the Guards could recover, he quickly summoned a barrier of blue bones around both soldiers. It wouldn’t last long due to his current state but it would hold them at bay should one of them have a Nice Cream or something like that. “I need a moment with the human, alone, okay?” He asked politely.

“Uh, yeah sure.”

“Okay.”

Papyrus was glad they didn’t fight him on this. “Thank you.” You squealed in protest as he proceeded to lift you back into the van. You were probably very confused. He let you scoot backwards a bit more before he climbed in after you and shut the doors behind him. There! Not only a place of privacy but also a slight reprieve from the cold that no doubt Jack could feel.

He turned to face you and felt his heart rate shoot up a few beats. You had spread your legs, revealing your inner thighs. He hadn’t see those in a while. They looked awfully warm appeared to the rest of you and a rogue thought of testing that warmness trickled in him briefly before he could shoot it down. Focus, Papyrus, focus. There would be an opportunity for romantic bantering later. He crawled over to you. 

So, er, I would like to take the gag off, but you have to promise not to get mad, okay?” Another wave of relief hit him as you nodded and he quickly untied the gag. Whew, well that was one nerve wracking thing out of the way. 

“Bleh, oh my gosh,” you started to say. Well, he was already 1/3 of the way there. Now to tell you what he had done that could have made you mad at him had you not just promised you wouldn’t. “Thank you for sav-”

“I lost Jack.”

Your mouth hung open and Papyrus felt uneasy. That did not look like the face of someone who was calm. “You...lost...Jack?” You gasped.

“Well, yes, technically,” he admitted, not enjoying the shift from thanking him to glaring at him.

He nearly jumped out of his boots when you started to swear at him. “What the fuck, Papyrus?!?!” Panic set in as you became more angry and before he could think twice, he quickly replaced your gag. “How could you-mmph!” He felt rather guilty about this and tried to make it better by brushing your hair out of your face. You did not appear to appreciate nor notice the gesture. Sigh.

“You promised not to get mad!” He reminded you, holding his hand over his chest. You screamed angrily at him through the gag. “I lost Jack - but I found him again!” He quickly tried to console you.

You stopped screaming and panted through your gag. He took that as his cue to continue. “You see, he was lost. I had burned dinner in your kitchen and Undyne came over and we left the door open to let all the smoke out. But then we couldn’t find him. And Undyne didn’t know what he looked like but she helped me look. But then he attacked me!” 

The unsympathetic look you shot him made him laugh awkwardly. Right, well considering he just regagged the woman he was trying to befriend and potentially date, this was probably appropriate. “Yes, fair enough, I suppose. But then, he got stuck…Well, he’s not stuck, but he won’t come out and Undyne tried but her hands are too big and I really don’t want Sans poking in there as well.”

His discomfort increased by the second as he admitted everything to you. Every painful detail. “Undyne figured I would probably accept your help, which I would but only if you wanted to and I absolutely do not want to force you.” And yet, here you sat, still tied and regagged. “So she asked two of the Royal Guards to bring you back. And well, I didn’t agree with how she went and did this so I followed them up and well, stopped them.” 

“But, I had to be really careful when I stopped them because I didn’t want to hurt Jack.” He motioned to his chest. It was then that his chest meowed. And purred.

Your eyes widened in horror and Papyrus found himself nodding shamefully at you. “Jack is inside my ribcage,” he finally admitted. This could not have gone any worse.

The doors slammed open and a bright white light blinded him. He was assaulted with the sound of a megaphone blasted loudly into the van. “THIS IS THE POLICE! MONSTER! HANDS IN THE AIR NOW AND STEP AWAY FROM THE HOSTAGE!”

He knew better than to fight with the human police force and quickly raised both of his hands. Without his grip on you, you quickly toppled over, and he caught a glimpse of something lacy and black underneath your skirt as you did and boy howdy everything really escalated didn’t it and he wished he didn’t feel as sweaty as he did right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up within the next 2 days (at which point, we'll have actual progress) :D Promise! :D


	3. Jumping From The Frying Pan and Into the Freezer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are cool, I love you and I want to fucking smush every one of your bastards. :)
> 
> That being said...will we go to jail? Or worse?

“Explain to me again why you were on top of a tied and gagged young woman in the back of a windowless van,” the detective asked Papyrus. RG01 and RG02 sat next to him, rather confused but complacent. The Monsters sat on the bumper of the police cruiser, handcuffed. The car was leaning drastically to that side. 

“Well, I needed her help with something,” Papyrus answered vaguely. 

“And you guys?” The detective asked, pointing to RG01 and RG02.

“We were ordered to bring her back,” RG01 answered. 

The detective scoffed. “Well I got a call to 911 saying that you and your accomplices kidnapped this girl from her family’s home. So what exactly did you need help with?”

“They’re not my accomplices. I actually can’t train with them yet since they are Royal Guards and I’m only in-training.” 

“Suspect is evasive, permission to treat him as hostile?” The detective asked another officer.

You had enough. “Oh for fuck’s sake. The only reason any of these guys came to get me was to pull out a kitten that climbed into his rib cage and nobody can pull him out!” You shouted, pointing to Papyrus. 

The detective paused. “Excuse me?” 

You nodded as Papyrus buried his skull in his gloves. “Yes, seriously.”

“This is very embarrassing,” Papyrus muttered. RG01 and RG02 patted him on the back reassuringly. 

“So, you’re saying these Monsters did not kidnap you for the purpose of raping you and devouring your remains?”

“...not interested.”

Your jaw dropped open. “What the fuck? No. Who said that?”

“Well your grandparents were very concerned-”

“Oh my God, no. Just, can you release them or something?”

The Detective crossed his arms. “Well a formal complaint has been filed so at this point, we need to take them down to the station for questioning. I’m sure our boys will be extra happy knowing that you guys pulled this stunt on Christmas Eve.” 

You were about to tactfully give this snob a piece of your mind when another officer approached. “Detective, the chief is on the line for you.”

The Detective blinked. “The chief? Didn’t he have the night off with his wife?”

“Yeah, uh, he’s not real happy.” The officer handed the phone to the Detective before booking it. 

“Uh, hello?” 

You blinked. You only understood half of what was said on the phone, but the message it carried was loud and clear. The Detective paled under the verbal assault of the Chief before offering a meek, “Right, right, we’ll let them go right now. Yes, you have a good Christmas too, sir. I’m sorry to disturb you.” He hung up the phone and shuddered. “Alright, let ‘em go.”

“Thank you!”

“But you!” You froze, as the Detective pointed at you. “You better go back to your grandparents’ home. They’re worried sick about you.”

“Pshaw, doubt it. I’m heading home,” you chuckled. You attempted to walk away only for Papyrus to catch you around the waist gently. 

“They’re your family,” He insisted.

“Precisely why you’re going to take me home.”

The Detective pointed at Papyrus in astonishment. “Where did your handcuffs go?!” 

The unmanacled skeleton shrugged. “I removed them. They’re over there,” he pointed to a broken pair of handcuffs. 

“So, we’re all good to go?” RG01 asked. The Detective nodded and RG01 and RG02 quickly broke out of their handcuffs as well. They handed the pieces to the distraught Detective and walked back to their beat up, but still working van. 

You hesitated as Papyrus pulled you to his car. His tires were bare. “Hang on, do you have chains for your tires? It’s pretty snowy if we go back up. How did you even get up here?”

“It was rather slippery,” he admitted. 

RG01 waved enthusiastically. “Hang on, we got a spare set, we’ll put them on for you. Can’t have you getting dusted from sliding off the mountain. Undyne will kill us.” 

Papyrus thanked them. “Thank you, that’s very kind of you. I haven’t worked with chains before.” 

Seems like you were stuck going back. But not if you didn’t get some form of comeuppance first. You smiled endearingly at Papyrus. “Well, if you’re going to take me up there, then I better do this now,” you informed him, leading him to the side of the large white van. 

Papyrus cocked his skull at you. “Do what-gah!” You pushed him against the side of the van and in one motion, stuck your hand under his breast plate. He let out a choked gasp and bucked but you pinned him with your own body as you groped around. You could feel Jack attempting to swat you and you quickly scruffed the little bastard and yanked him out. You immediately wrapped him in your sweater as snugly as you could and pulled away from Papyrus. 

“See, that wasn’t so bad…” Your voice trailed off as you looked back at Papyrus. He was a wreck. He gasped for breath, clutching his chest. His cheek bones radiated orange. “Papyrus?” You asked worriedly, poking him. 

“Nyeh!!!” He jumped at your touch and shot you a cold look. “Warn me next time! My chest is a sensitive spot! How would you like it if I did that to you?!”

“You have,” you answered before you could stop yourself. 

Papyrus’ jaw hung open before closing. “Well, eh, I didn’t go under your clothes to do it!” He countered.

You held up Jack who was starting to get sleeping in his new fuzzy home. “Fine, I owe you a free feel.” You turned about face immediately, hoping to God Papyrus didn’t see your absolutely strawberry colored face. Oh my God, what were you thinking saying that? You quickly opened the passenger side door of his car and sat down. Maybe he didn’t hear you.

“Are-are you serious?” Papyrus gaped at you as he climbed into the driver’s side. 

You stared straight ahead and did not make eye contact. “L-let’s just go back to my grandparents’ house.” 

~~~~~

You stood awkwardly at the front door of your grandparents’ house, hands holding your sweater which was still wrapped snugly around a now placated Jack. Papyrus had one arm around you which he told you was to help keep you warm but it was probably to keep you from bolting. 

You sighed and rung the door bell. You're surprised anyone would hear you amongst the screaming of excited children, but somehow they did. The door opened up and your grandfather stood there. He grinned. There was a strong odor of alcohol to him.

“Oh good. You're not dead. Grandma's freaking out that you got eaten by Monsters.” He laughed heartily and Papyrus slightly tensed at the comment. 

You groaned. It was only going to get worse from here. “No, grandpa. I'm alive. It was a big misunderstanding.” You caught him staring at Papyrus confusedly. “Er, this is my friend Papyrus.”

Papyrus extended a hand warmly. “Hello, it is very nice to meet you. Do not worry, I do not eat humans.”

You grandfather scratched his head before shaking his hand. “Them Chinamen getting taller every generation,” he muttered, releasing his hand and wandering back into the house.

You could have sworn Papyrus looked slightly hesitant but when he caught your eye, he seemed optimistic and determined. 

“I suppose we will just let ourselves in,” Papyrus smiled and you nodded. You both walked in and you shut the door after you. You didn't need Jack escaping again. You braced yourself for the fallout as you both entered the family room. 

You're not sure who screamed first, your grandmother or the excited grandkids. Either way, you both soon found yourself shoved back into the hallway by one of your aunts. You held Jack protectively and Papyrus steadied you. Your aunt looked you both over and laughed. “Oh, my God. You brought a Monster,” she finally laughed.

“Uh technically he brought me,” you informed her and Papyrus shot her a sheepish grin. 

“Oh, this is great,” your aunt continued, turning her attention to Papyrus. “You her boyfriend?” Papyrus tried to answer but she cut him off. “Actually doesn't matter, welcome to hell either way. I'll let you know if you can come back in.”

“Don't you mean when?”

“I know what I said.” Your aunt stumbled away. 

You couldn't help but lean your head against his chest. “This is going to suck.”

Papyrus hummed and ran his hands through your hair comfortingly. “I'm sure this will be fine, everyone is probably very excited that you're back. That's all.”

Your Aunt peeked in at that moment. “Alright, she's better now but uh,” she paused as she saw Papyrus holding you, “you're going to want to stop doing that.”

Papyrus removed his hands from you slowly and you couldn't help but feel ashamed. Your aunt nodded approvingly and left. You groaned again and walked out, Papyrus now maintaining a distance behind you. The scene was significantly less chaotic, the children having finally been disciplined for the first time this evening. Your grandfather had returned to the television and you spotted your grandmother scurrying to remove the last hung mistletoe before you fully entered. You couldn't help but feel something bristle inside you at that. 

You tensed as she approached you. “Come with me. Now.” Papyrus made a motion to follow you both but your grandmother glared at him. “Not you. You stay here and don't touch anything.” You started to walk after her but she pointed at Jack. “Put that cat in the car. I don’t want him in my house either.”

Your eyes hardened. “It’s 6 degrees outside. Jack is not going outside.”

She huffed. “Fine, give him to the skeleton. I do not want him in my kitchen.” 

You stood your ground until you felt Papyrus gently tap your shoulder. “That’s alright,” he was explaining to your grandmother, “I’m very good with small creatures. I feed my brother’s pet rock everyday.” He took Jack from you who seemed to perk up when he spotted the skeleton. Especially his battle body.

The comments caught your grandmother off guard and she walked into the kitchen shaking her head. Papyrus shot you a thumbs up as you followed her. You don’t think you ever had a moment of feeling so isolated as you did as you followed your grandmother into the kitchen.

~~~~~

“So, what's it like?”

Papyrus blinked in confusion. He could have sworn your grandfather just said something to him, but the elderly man’s eyes never left the television set. “What is like what?”

“You know, where you came from?” He was speaking, just not looking. 

“Oh!” Papyrus adjusted Jack who had started to doze off in his arms. “Well, what part?”

“Huh?”

“What region? Do you mean where I live or the whole area?”

“Ain't it all the same anyway with your rice paddies and your pandas?”

Clearly, your grandfather slated for knowledge. Knowledge that Papyrus was more than happy to provide. “Goodness no. The areas are vastly different. We have areas blanketed in snow and if you walk a bit more there's Waterfall where it always seems to be raining somewhere. And then there's Hotland! And you have to be careful when you visit there because if you're not careful, you'll fall into the lava and that would probably hurt.”

The old man blinked and turned his head toward him for the first time. “Did you say lava?”

“Yes.”

“You buggers built a civilization over lava.”

“A hotel and laboratory as well.”

Your grandpa whistled. “Now there's something new.” He had another sip of the brown liquid in a bottle before speaking once more. “So what relationship do you have with my granddaughter?”

Papyrus wasn’t sure what to say. He certainly liked you and he was pretty sure you like him. And you were technically dating him. But that was rather lengthy to try to describe to the old man. If only there was some short word of affection that he could use for you. An idea struck him almost instantly. “Oh. She is my bae.” Thank you, Undyne! 

“Your what?”

“Er...Bae.” 

“That ain't no English term. Really if you're going to be living here, you gotta learn the language”

A preteen boy sitting nearby looked up from his phone. “Ugh grandpa, it's slang. It's short for baby.”

“She's not an infant. She's a grown woman,” he protested. 

“It's like saying they're someone you really like or your girlfriend or something,” the boy explained as he continued to watch his screen. 

“Oh.” Papyrus felt himself looked over by the old man who grunted. “Babs ain't gonna like that.”

Babs? Was he referring to your grandma? “Why not?” Papyrus asked. 

“Since she’s the oldest, Lori’s the closest of any of the grandkids to getting married,” your grandfather explained, gesturing to the other grandchildren who were defacing statues and generally being undisciplined brats. The old man shrugged. “Babs really wants great grandkids, so…”

The skeleton cocked his head. "So...?"

"Well, uh, you know, you being a well, you can't..."

Papyrus felt his scarf tugged and for a moment, interrupting his concentration. Was Jack trying to escape? He quickly realized it was a young boy. “Oh, hello human child! How are-?”

“I want the cat.” 

Papyrus sighed. “That was not very nice to interrupt me.” He flashed a smile at the boy. “I’m sorry, but the cat has to stay with me for now.”

“Why?”

“Well, I was asked to hang on to him.”

The child snorted. “You’re gonna let some girl tell you what to do?” 

Papyrus nodded. “Of course.”

The boy was taken aback by the answer and his face hardened. “Gimme the cat.”

“Afraid not.” 

“I’m going to scream.”

“That sounds rather exciting.” The boy became angrier. 

“Give it to me now!” And with that, the boy made a grab for Jack. Although Papyrus pulled the kitten out of harm’s way, the child’s fingers snagged the tip of his tail and pulled roughly. Jack howled and spun around, claws out to strike your cousin. 

And Papyrus intervened. 

~~~~~

Your grandmother stood in front of the oven, exhaling shakily before fixing her eyes on you. She had been silent for at least a minute before she began to speak.

“I wish I could say I am surprised with you, but I can't.” Those weren’t the words you expected. She noted your confusion. “Truly, I understand. You think you're doing the right thing, helping bridge the gap between humans and Monsters. And that's fine. But this time, you've gone too far. What you've done, is so incredibly selfish.”

“Selfish?” You questioned. How were you being selfish? 

Your grandmother threw her hands in the air. “This is Christmas, Lori, a time for FAMILY. A time for us to be together as a family. A time where we can forget everything that is happening in the world.” She shook angrily before throwing a hand toward the kitchen exit. “And here you are, parading a Monster around as a boyfriend right in front of me.”

You flinched. “I'm not parading Papyrus.”

She laughed humorously. “You say that, but I know. I can see how clever you think you are. For what, some stand in the name of Social Justice? Haven't I suffered enough for this idea of equality you’re trying to force onto our family?”

“You've suffered?”

You’re not sure if she heard you. Her vision now focused on the corner of the room, as if trying to recall something. “You're just like your mother,” she finally spoke, lowly, “The minute my son saw her, she put a spell on him. She took my sweet little angel of a son and turned him against me.” Her eyes angrily flickered back to you, “Can you imagine how much I suffered because of her? She could never leave things the way they were. Just like what you're doing now. Things were fine the way before, so please for my sake, keep it that way?”

She stood there, waiting for your answer and at this point you realized you were trembling. How could you even respond? Did you try to keep the peace? You had been doing that all this evening with little success. Finally you swallowed and said as calmly as you could manage, “I'm sorry that my dating a Monster forces you to come to terms with your prejudices. But I'm not going to stop dating him because his race makes you uncomfortable.”

“You're just like her, aren't you?”

You shrugged. “I guess so.”

“Nothing but a progressive little whore.”

Before you could respond with some vitriol of your own, the sound of a howl made your hair stand up on end. That sounded like Jack! Before your grandmother could say another word, you dashed out into the kitchen. You came to a deadstop and stared at the scene in front of you. One of your cousins was floating. Floating. A blue aura emanating from his chest. Oh my God, he didn’t.

Your suspicions were confirmed when you looked at Papyrus. He had cast magic on your cousin. He was supposed to be watching Jack! You quickly sighted the kitten that now clung to Papyrus’ scarf, hissing in the direction of your floating family member. Papyrus spotted you and waved with an illuminated glove, sending your screeching cousin into the cushions of the couch. “Oh, I’m sorry about that, are you alright?”

“What’s going on out here?” You gaped, glancing over to see that your cousin was still alive and kicking.

“Er, well your family pulled his tail,” Papyrus pointed to the cat who continued to hiss and spit in the direction of the couch. “And Jack wanted to retaliate so I separated the two. Safely,” he added as your cousin got back to his feet looking rather dizzy. 

Your grandmother’s shrill voice shrieked, deafening the living room. Jack let out one final hiss before he dove into Papyrus’ battle body. The skeleton was too slow to catch the kitten and he grabbed his chest irritability. 

“Drat!” 

“I want you out of this house!”

You and Papyrus looked at your grandmother. She was absolutely livid. “Are you speaking with us?”

“Attacking my grandchild?! How dare you!” Your grandmother continued to holler. 

“Oh. I see how it would look like that. But actually, this was merely a defensive maneuver with minimal risk of injury.”

“Leave. Now.”

Papyrus looked aghast and you stepped up. “Listen, you heard him. Jamie started it by pulling Jack's tail. And Jack would have probably hurt him way more than Papyrus. I mean have you seen his nails?!”

“Jamie is a child!”

“Jamie is an 8 year old who knows better!” You shouted back. 

“Your friend leaves now or I will call the police.”

Papyrus coughed awkwardly. “Well, I suppose I should head back. I'm sure Santa will be coming by soon.”

There was a murmur of excitement amongst the children. None of which deserved anything more than coal in your opinion, but it distracted your grandma. You took Papyrus’ hand. “C’mon, Pap, let's go.”

You both walked mostly unhindered to the front door. Your eyes caught the sight of foliage and saw that the mistletoe you had meticulously hung up only to be torn down, had been stashed by the side of the door. You sighed. The letters and guilt trip phone calls you would receive after this would be lengthy and demanding.

You could hear your grandma's voice behind you. “If you go with him, consider yourself uninvited to our New Year party.”

You grinned manically. “Thank God.” You seized a sprig of mistletoe and bolted out the door. 

“Good bye! I'm sorry we couldn't stay longer!” Papyrus called over his shoulder as he ran after you, away from your yelling grandparents. 

You nearly slipped on the icy road but managed to grab the side of his car before you could fall. “Let's get out of here!”

~~~~~

Even with chains on his car, the drive down the mountain was nerve wracking, especially knowing there was a kitten in your driver's chest. “Papyrus, are you sure you don't want to pull over?” You asked. 

“I'm quite alright. He is vibrating but has not detonated yet.”

“He's oh nevermind.” You pulled out your phone. Already 4 missed calls from your grandparents. There was no way in hell you would be playing any of them anytime soon. “Papyrus, I'm sorry.” you sighed, your shoulders sagging. 

The skeleton blinked in surprise. “What for?”

“You know, the whole kitten getting stuck in your ribcage, fighting the Royal Guards, getting kicked out of my grandparents house thing…”

“Oh! I don't mind actually!”

“What? Why?”

Papyrus looked somewhat shy. “Ah, well I was actually going to ask if you wanted to hang out with me at Toriel’s home.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Just hang out?” Not a date?

“Nyeh heh heh, well perhaps help me set up my Santa lookout gear.”

You snickered. Okay, that was a far better reason. “Well, if we get back in one piece, I'll help you build a watchtower if you want.”

“Of course we will! A watchtower might be a bit much but if you think we can get the supplies-”

There was a loud bang and the car suddenly slid out of control. You shrieked in alarm as the car spun and skidded on the snowy road. Papyrus quickly took a hard turn and pumped the brake in an attempt to regain control. You shut your eyes tightly as you both spun. 

The car mercifully came to a stop and you opened your eyes cautiously. “Are-are we alive?” You gasped. 

Papyrus glanced over his door and nodded. “Yes but it appears the chains popped the tire.”

“The chains did what?” You never had snow chains pop a tire before. You stepped out of the car and looked at the chains. They were not snow chains. 

Pieces of shrapnel, spears and other sharp weaponry had been strung together with steel chains and wrapped around each of the tires. You walked over to his side. A particularly sharp blade had embedded itself into his tire, effectively slicing it wide open. You're surprised he maintained any control at all when you spun out. 

“Papyrus, these are not snow tire chains.”

“Of course they are. This is snow and these are chains on tires.” 

You slapped a hand over your face and realized with some alarm that your fingers were ice cold. You looked around. You guys had pulled over to the side of the road and although had cleared the hills, you weren’t exactly close to the rest of Sunset City. 

“Do you have a spare tire?” You asked, shivering as you realized how cold it actually was. 

“Ha! Of course not.” 

Oh man, the tow truck driver was going to charge you a bucket of cash to come get you guys. You guys were pretty far outside the city limits. “Okay, I’m going to call a tow truck driver,” you called to him, pulling out your cellphone, “Oh crap.”

“What?”

“I have no reception. Papyrus, do you have any?” The skeleton pulled out his cell phone and nodded. You breathed an icy sigh of relief as the skeleton dialed a tow truck company. You squinted your eyes to search for any nearby buildings and regrettably could see nothing. “Do they need a credit card?” You called over to your friend.

“No, no. It’s alright. They won’t be able to make it out here for at least another 3 hours,” Papyrus explained as he disconnected the call. You nearly choked.

“Three hours?! Oh my God. We’re going to freeze out here.” Maybe you guys could walk to somewhere a bit warmer to wait it out. You could make out a sign that stated there was a gas station about a mile away. Which probably wouldn’t have been too terrible, had it not been snowing. You shivered. 

You felt a blanket cover your shoulders and you looked to see Papyrus draping the rest of it over you. “Pap, don’t you want it?”

He shook his head. “I have no skin to feel the cold.”

You smiled but froze. “But Jack can.” You looked up at him worriedly. “Papyrus, can you feel him? Is he okay?”

Papyrus shut his sockets and nodded slowly. “Yes, but he is shaking.” 

“We need to keep him warm. He won’t survive the cold. Here, wrap this around,” You insisted, draping the blanket over his shoulders and around his battle body, “This will kinda make a tent or something,” you chuckled, wiping at your nose. Your fingers felt numb. 

Papyrus opened the blankets and quickly drew you in before wrapping the edges completely around your back. You were caught off guard by the sudden closeness and looked up at him. “Two bodies are warmer than one, especially if one of them has skin,” he explained, his cheek bones turning a slight orange despite the chill. 

Jack let out a piteous meow but you were grateful that the small feline made any noise at all. As you stood there, feeling the wind blow through your hair, you couldn’t help but curse yourself. How could you have been so stupid? None of this would have happened if you had remained calm at your grandparents’ place. You could have probably convinced them to let you guys stay until the snow calmed down. But your fucking pride got in the way, huh? It was pride, right? 

It had to be. Why else would you have so recklessly confronted your entire family? They shouldn’t treat monsters like that. They shouldn’t treat Papyrus like that. You didn’t want anyone treating him like he was some type of freak. Your chest ached and burned at the thought. He was awesome. He was better than all of them combined. Even now in a blizzard, he was trying to help you and Jack stay warm enough to wait for help. 

You pressed yourself closer to him, hoping to block out more of the cold that could seep into his battle body. This was all your fault. Jack was going to die and it was all your fault. Magic or not, Papyrus could only do so much to help keep the small animal warm. How could you have been so irresponsible? Bitter tears formed at your eyes that threatened to freeze before they could fall. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I’m so sorry, Papyrus,” you found yourself blubbering.

Papyrus wrapped you up closer. “Everything’s going to be alright. I’m sure Santa will spot us,” He reassured you. You buried your head into his chest and Jack mewed once more. “I’m sure of it. He’ll be calling our names any second now and we’ll all go in his sleigh and he’ll drop us off.”

You chuckled as you heard the wind seemingly shout your name. “Heh, well it’s going to take a miracle for him to find us in this weather.”

“That’s what Rudolph is for, right?” You paused as the wind seemed to howl your name once more. Papyrus’ skull jerked up. “See?” You looked at him confusion.

“See what?”

“Lori! Papyrus!” A voice called out. “Is that you darlings?” 

“Hello, yes it is us!” Papyrus shouted back. Your eyes bugged out. There was no way. You quickly turned to the sound of the voice and gaped.

A heavyset figure wearing all red appeared through the falling snow. He trudged toward you, his figures becoming more distinguishable by the passing second. Black boots trudged through the snow and snowflakes alighted on his thick, long white beard. A fuzzy red hat sat snugly on his head as he approached, a lit pipe hanging from his mouth. There was no mistaking this figure. You stared in disbelief.

"Holy shit, it's Santa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT. IT'S SANTA.
> 
> Alternate title of this chapter was "Selfish" but I felt that it gave power to the wrong people. (Sorry, I unfortunately identified a little too well with a couple of scenes in this chapter). Give the most to those that deserve it, amirite? 
> 
> But again, holy shit! It's Santa. :D


	4. Won't Be Home for Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here it is the last and longest official chapter of this story. I'm glad you guys have been getting a kick out of it.
> 
> I just want to say I hope everyone has a great holiday, whatever you are celebrating and remember you are loved!
> 
> Oh, and also..."Holy Shit! It's Santa."

Papyrus stood up proudly. “Santa! Hello! I’m so glad you found us!” Papyrus paused. “Although you look different than what I remember.”

The old man laughed. “Oh, I have heard that quite bit when I go out like this.” 

“Yes, normally you are taller and more fuzzy. And you do not have your goat horns.”

Santa smiled in bemusement and stroked his long beard. “Well, now there’s one I hadn’t heard before.” He stepped closer and held out a glove covered hand. “Are you kids alright?”

“Amos! Is that Lori and Papyrus?” An elderly woman’s voice yelled from behind Santa.

He looked over your stunned and Papyrus’ smug figures carefully. “Yeah, baby. She looks like the gal from your work.” 

“Holy fucking shit, it’s Santa,” You echoed. 

“She swears like her too,” He chuckled, his belly jiggling like jello.

Your work? Wait a minute. You peered closer at the man. He looked awfully familiar. You know you had seen him before, but where? An elderly stout woman approached from behind him. She was similarly decked out in a red and white outfit that matched Santa’s. Papyrus’ jaw nearly dropped. 

“Wowie! I did not know your coworker was Mrs. Clause!” He gasped.

“Pam?!” You gasped. 

The 62 year old receptionist from your work stood before you, dressed as Mrs. Clause. She wore a bright wrinkly smile made your chest feel a bit warmer just seeing it. Her pale blue eyes looked you both over before enveloping you into a hug. “Oh! I thought it was you! Goodness, what are you both doing out here in this weather? You’ll freeze half to death.” 

“Papyrus was driving me away from my grandparent’s place and his tire popped. We don’t have a spare so we’re waiting for the tow truck,” You hurriedly explained as Pam released you only to smother Papyrus in an equally strong hug. 

“A tow truck?” Amos looked out into the wintery blizzard. “No truck is going to be able to come get you out here.”

“I-i know,” you admitted. “And we have Jack from the hospital here and I’m really scared he’s going to freeze to death.” 

“Jack? Who’s Jack?” Pam asked. 

“You-you weren’t at work the last two days?”

“Goodness no, we’ve got the whole family coming down for Christmas Eve. I needed that time to clean the house,” she chuckled. Oh yeah. You forgot. “Where and what is Jack?” She asked, scanning Papyrus’ car.

“He’s a kitten and he’s uh, in Pap’s ribcage,” you admitted. Papyrus nodded. It was too cold to be embarrassed anymore. 

“Well you kids get inside the truck right now.”

“Truck?” Papyrus asked. 

Pam nodded and turned to her husband. “Go bring the truck closer, we can hitch up his car, right?”

He nodded. “Of course, buttercup.” He planted a frosty kiss on her cheeks before disappearing into the whiteness. Within a few seconds, a large pick up truck backed up to the front of Papyrus’ car. He hopped out and pulled out the hitch at the bumper of his car and wrapped it around Papyrus’ bumper. He chuckled as he secured it. “Well, it ain’t gonna hold long but it’ll hold long enough until we get home.” 

Papyrus nodded. “Thank you, Santa. I really appreciate this!”

Pam huffed and pushed you both. “What did I tell you two? Go hop in the truck!” You quickly obliged and climbed into the backseats of the truck, Papyrus following you, although it was a tight fit. Pam and Amos quickly entered the driver and passenger side and slammed the doors shut. 

The truck roared to life once more and began the bumpy drive down the empty road. Amos glanced in the rear view mirror. “I don’t have heat for the back, but can you feel it from the front?”

“Sorta, but seriously, thank you,” you thanked, “Already, this is way better.” You looked up at Papyrus. “How’s Jack?”

“He’s cold,” Papyrus answered you, his smile faltering slightly. You thought Papyrus couldn’t feel the cold and bit your lip worriedly at the admission.

Pam turned around. “Give him here. I’ll roast him up here,” she encouraged, holding out her mittened hands. 

You hesitated. You had already violated Papyrus’ private space once. And now there was an audience. He would probably decline or ask that you wrap him up more. “Uh, yes, I’m not sure if I can-”

“It’s alright,” Papyrus spoke resolutely. 

You looked at him warily. “Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” You removed your gloves and extended a hand slowly toward him. Your hands alit on the base of his breast plate and wavered cautiously. What a contrast, to the previous time you had done this. Your fingers crept underneath carefully and haltingly reached for the base of his rib cage. God, you were practically treating him like a china doll. Even Papyrus rolled his sockets at this. “I’m not going to break.”

You felt the blood rush into your cheeks. “Ah, yeah, sorry.” You steadfastly reached under the ribs. Papyrus shuddered as your knuckles brushed against the inner part of his rib cage. Your face contorted into confusion as you could feel an odd sense of warmth in his chest. Had you not realized it before? Then again, you had only stuck your hands in for a few seconds, so maybe it had been present all along. Your hands followed the source of heat and your fingers alighted on something cold and fuzzy. 

“Jack,” you breathed. You quickly pulled the unresisting feline from his chest, your fingers caressing against something incredibly hot. Whatever it was, its heat had kept Jack alive. Papyrus groaned as you made contact with it and you hurried your pace. With one hand, you handed the lethargic kitten to Pam’s outstretched arms. 

“Oh, poor baby, he’s so handsome,” Pam cooed, clutching the one eyed kitten carefully as she placed him in front of the heater. He stirred as the hot air enveloped his tiny frame. You allowed yourself a shaky sigh of relief as he let out a stronger mew.

“Lori, please,” you heard Papyrus groan quietly and you returned your attention to the skeleton. His sockets watched you with an expression you were unfamiliar with. He sounded almost desperate. Your eyes trained back on him and you realized your other hand was still in his chest, your fingertips barely grazing the hot object in his chest. 

You immediately removed your hand. “Oh my God, I’m super sorry. Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” You let out a sharp gasp as, instead of answering, he nudged his skull into your neck, his teeth pressing against your frozen skin. “A-ah, Papyrus?!”

“I missed you,” he murmured against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. God, you had no idea what he was talking about but please Lord, let him continue. It felt absolutely sensual. “I need you, I need you to…”

Although your voices were practically nonexistent over the sound of the truck barreling through the snow, you weren’t going to take any chances. “Need me to what?” You moaned softly.

He didn’t answer right away, instead running his teeth down your neck. You squirmed impatiently. What did he want you to do? Oh my God. Would you be able to get away with doing it with Pam and Amos in the front seat?! Would you have a choice? And why did that last question get you way more excited than it should have? “What do you need me to do?”

“I need ya both to wait till we get to our house!” Papyrus and you jumped at the sound of Pam’s loud cackle. The old woman had turned around, a much more lively looking Jack tucked within the shoulder of her shirt. “There’ll be plenty of time for that once the grandkids go to sleep!” She winked and turned back to watch the road.

Well. That was embarrassing. You glanced at Papyrus who shook his skull, as if he had been in a daze. He caught you watching him and smiled sheepishly. “Nyeh heh heh. Right. Sorry about that. Was somewhere else for a minute there.” Sure, let’s add more wood to the fire of confusion. 

You awkwardly grinned. “Yeah, uh, no worries…want to share the blanket?”

“Yes. As long as I can stick my skull underneath to hide my humiliation.” 

“Not if I do it first.”

“Nyeh!”

~~~~~

“Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas!” Amos announced as he pushed open the door to the small home.

A small herd of young children flocked to Pam and Amos. A chorus of “Grandma!” “Grandpa!” and “Santa!” could be heard from the shouts and shrieks of excited little ones. Older adults stood nearby, smiling warmly at the two. 

“Alright, kids, let grandma and grandpa in, okay?” One adult finally called out. The children backed away to let everyone through. “Hi, Mom and Dad. Did you bring guests?”

“Oh, this is Lori and her boyfriend, Papyrus,” Pam introduced as she hugged her daughter. 

You laughed awkwardly. “Uh, oh not exactly.”

Papyrus stepped in gratefully. “We are at the dating stage at the moment!” He announced proudly.

“At the moment,” Amos chuckled as he stepped into the kitchen. You pretended not to hear him. Instead you turned your attention to the scene in front of you. 

This was definitely a smaller home. Bigger than your apartment for sure, but not by much. There wasn’t a lot of furniture, but the couches and chairs that decorated the home were well worn and used. It was rather tight with the gaggle of family members that walked and played between the living room and kitchen. A quaint fireplace roared enthusiastically with the flicker of burning flames and coal, illuminating and warming the rest of the room quite comfortably.

“Who wants to help Santa hand out candy canes?” Pam called as her husband emerged from the kitchen. 

Papyrus practically leapt with excitement and immediately ditched you. “Me! Me! Me!!” He exclaimed. There was a round of chuckles and Santa/Amos handed over the bag of candy canes. 

“Thanks for being Santa’s little helper, Papyrus. Make sure all the kids get one if they want them.” The skeleton saluted and set off on his mission, which was no doubt made easier by the fact that most of the grandchildren crowded around him eagerly. Huh, they must never been given candy canes by a skeleton. What a deprived life they must lead, you mused.

The sound of ferocious mewing caught your attention and Pam unwrapped a feisty Jack. No doubt the sounds of the kids roused him and he very quickly tried to swat and bite his way out of the blankets. Pam shot him a stern look. “Now, none of that mister. We do not bite in this household,” she scolded and Jack actually appeared to shrink away from sinking his fangs into her thumb. 

“Do you have a cat, Grandma?” Pam patted Jack and set him down on the floor carefully. 

“Yes, but he’s very young. If you want to play with him be gentle. And don’t let him bite you. Grandpa will throw you out if you get rabies,” she chided. 

Jack stretched and immediately darted around his surroundings. You couldn’t help but notice every adult and child immediately go into shuffle mode with their feet. It seems Pam taught her family well. You blinked in surprise as a mug of spiced apple cider materialized in front of you.

“Go warm yourself up, here,” Pam’s daughter placed the cup in your hand and gestured toward the fireplace. 

“Ha, thanks, can I help?” You offered. 

She shook her head. “We’ve got this. We’ll be serving dessert soon. Will you guys be staying?” 

“Oh, I’m not sure.” You hadn’t thought about that. There was no way you were safely getting home tonight, but Papyrus had plans. Plans that you technically dragged him away from. “Let me go find out.” 

“We’ll set places for you anyway. Mom will probably have you guys stay the night,” she smiled as you left to track down Papyrus. Which wasn’t that hard considering the size of the home. 

You found him squatting down, watching a young girl who leaned against the wall near the corner. You hadn’t noticed her at first. She hadn’t joined the rest of the grandchildren. There was something off about her. Papyrus seemed to pick up on it too, lowering his voice. “Hello, little human, would you like a candy cane?” He asked, gently holding out a candy cane to her. 

She didn’t make eye contact with either of you. She seemed nervous and unsure of what to do with her hands. Pam approached him from behind and smiled warmly at her granddaughter. 

“Hello, Bethany. This is Papyrus. Would you like a candy cane from him?” The girl furtively glanced at Pam for a moment before looking away again. Pam continued to smile. “Why don’t I have Papyrus give this to your mother and when you want it, she can give it to you. Does that sound good?” She nodded and Pam motioned for you both to follow her. 

Pam pointed to another woman who was setting plates. “That’s her mother. Dear, would you mind holding onto this for Beth?” 

The mother smiled, exhaustion evident by the bags under eyes. “Of course,” she agreed, taking the candy from Papyrus and placing it in her bag. “Mom, did she talk to you?”

Pam shook her head. “Not today. I’m sure she’s a bit overwhelmed with everyone here. How’s she been doing at home?”

“We are getting there. One step at a time. Some days are better than others,” her daughter admitted with a smile.

“I’m glad to hear it. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Pam turned her attention to both of you. “Now, what’s this I hear about you not staying the night?”

Crap. You hadn’t had a chance to talk to Papyrus. “Uh, well, I don’t mind staying the night, but Papyrus would probably want to go home.” 

She winked at you. “I’ll let you guys sleep together,” she suggested. You turned bright red. You did not look at Papyrus. Ignorance was bliss on this one. 

“Er, that’s not it. You see, he was supposed to go to a friend’s house to wait for Santa,” you quickly explained before Pam could wink more.

“Ah, yes the human is correct. I did have a prior arrangement I was supposed to attend,” He admitted sheepishly. 

Pam hummed. “Well, your car is not going anywhere. But if you can wait an hour or so, we’ll go ahead and drive you there. I want to get everyone fed first.” 

Papyrus quickly waved his hands. “No, no. I could not even think about infringing upon your hospitality like that. It’s quite alright.” You racked your brain for answers until your phone lit up. It was a text from Sans. 

“hey, just got call from insurance that pap’s car needed towing. everything okay?” 

Of course! Sans could easily get Papyrus home. You quickly poked Papyrus. “Pap, what about your brother?”

“What about Sans?”

“He could come pick you up.” 

Papyrus made a face. “Yes, he probably could. While I do hate his methods, that is a good idea, human. I clearly was very clever to choose you to date for you are so smart.” 

“Why don’t you go ahead and call him? He just texted me,” You insisted. 

“Very well. I will step out for a moment. I believe I left a few things in my car.”

“Sleepover is always on the table,” Pam called after him. 

“Your overzealous hospitality is very kind,” Papyrus called back before he left and you snickered.

Jack darted across your feet and you very carefully avoided kicking him as he took a sideswipe at your shoelaces. Little shithead. But he seemed happy and rambunctious enough so you left him alone. To be fair, you were responsible for him nearly dying so giving him some leeway tonight seemed fair. And no one had pulled his tail. So this was a good sign all around. 

“So what’s for dessert?” You asked curiously. 

“Figgy pudding,” Pam answered. 

“Wait, really?” You actually never ate figgy pudding. You sang about it for sure, but never actually ate it. 

“Sure!” 

“Is it good?”

Pam snorted. “Hell if I know. Wanted to try something different this year.” God, you fucking loved Pam. She glanced over at the front door. “Oh, goodness, come look at your boyfriend.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Pam, he’s not-” You turned and gaped. “Oh my God.” Papyrus had donned a red fuzzy Santa hat and strode in happily. In his gloves, was the mistletoe you had stolen from your grandparents. "My boyfriend is so cool." You froze as you realized you said that outloud and Pam looked incredibly smug. 

“I have decided to stay! Your fireplace shall accommodate Santa’s arrival and thus I will wait here!” He announced to the room.

“I’m glad to hear that, hun,” Pam called, winking at you. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Amos whistled, spotting the foliage, “Now that’s what I forgot. Let’s hang that over here, big guy!” Papyrus more than obliged and tied the piece of vegetation onto a nail between the living room and kitchen. He stepped back proudly. Amos remained under the mistletoe and winked at his wife. “I’m under the mistletoe, buttercup.” 

Pam grinned mischievously. “Ooh, well I better hurry before it falls.” 

Papyrus nodded. “Never fear. I have hung it very well so it shall not fall on anyone.” He made a motion to continue until Pam planted a smooch on her husband. And two more just to be sure. “Uh…human?” He asked, stepping back next to you, “Why are they doing that?”

You sighed. “Uh, cause we have a tradition that if you stand under the mistletoe with someone, you are supposed to kiss.” 

Papyrus blushed. “O-oh! I did not know that...it would take effect so quickly?” He hurriedly corrected himself.

“Good save.” 

“Thank you.” 

~~~~~

Well, you now knew what figgy pudding tasted like. It was figgy. And pudding. Heated. And it was pretty good. Papyrus declared he was going to try to cook it at home and you silently prayed for Sans’ safety. It was finally after figgy pudding that everyone seemed to be winding down. The excitement of the mistletoe (so many kisses followed by “BLEH!”) and Jack had worn off on the children and they now practically slept in a dog pile in front of the now smoldering fireplace, having depleted their sugar consumption.

You helped clean plates as parents cleared children, tucking them into bed with the promise that the sooner they slept, the sooner Santa would come. Which Papyrus enthusiastically agreed with. And if your parents and a skeleton were telling you this, then how could they be wrong? 

You had stepped out to gather more plates when Pam finally caught you. “Go take a breather. Amos and Papyrus are out there sitting by the fireplace talking about Santa.”

You yawned. “Alright, alright.”

“Sure was nice of him to stay after all,” Pam added as you started to walk out.

“Yeah, thanks for having a big fireplace,” you chuckled.

“Oh yes, that is the reason he told you, isn’t it?”

You shot her a wayward look. “Yesss…?”

Pam grinned and said nothing. You walked out, carefully avoiding the mistletoe. Sure enough the men appeared to be in deep conversation. To your surprise, Papyrus had removed one his gloves and hung it near the fireplace to dry.

“He’s much taller than me,” Papyrus explained, “And he’s got the thickest fur to help keep him warm when he rides his sleigh at night.” 

Amos whistled. “Wow. Can’t say I have ever run into him.”

Papyrus blinked in surprise. “But you are a Santa, right?”

He chuckled, “Sure. I don’t exactly look like the Santa on the toy shelves but I think I do a pretty good job of being him.” 

The skeleton smiled and nodded. “Then I’m sure you’ll run into him soon enough when you go on your ride tonight.”

“Hey, Pap, don’t give Santa a hard time,” you chuckled, bopping him gently in the shoulder. 

“He’s alright.” He took another sip of cider and looked at you curiously, “But say, what were you guys doing all the way out on those roads. Except for the resort hills, there’s not much of anything out there.”

You groaned. No need to bombard them with more information than they needed to hear. “My grandparents’ live in the hills. I was invited to their house for Christmas Eve,” you offered, leaning against your date. 

“That’s awfully nice of them,” Amos exclaimed. 

Papyrus threw up his hands. “See, that’s what I said! But she did not want to go.”

“Well, it’s still thoughtful of them to have you both up there considering how people can be sometimes.” You and Papyrus exchanged glances. 

“Nyeh, actually I wasn’t invited. I was cat sitting the pussy and…” Pam snorted.

“Pussy cat,” you corrected. He nodded. 

“Yes, Pussy cat and he climbed into my battle armor. And I couldn’t get him out. My friend decided to have her guards bring the human back but I didn’t want her to miss the party so I came up to her instead.”

“...And how’d that go?”

Papyrus beamed. “Oh, well, I’m sure we would have a splendid time but her grandmother really wanted to send Jack and I on our way. I assume she was also aware that I look forward to Santa’s arrival and was so excited, she was practically screaming at us to go!” He explained all too eagerly.

Amos watched your expression as you grimaced. He gave a slight nod in your direction, understanding what was unspoken in his statement. “Well, some people have a funny way of expressing themselves when it comes to change,” he spoke gently as Pam nestled in next to him. He shot her an appreciative wink as she took off her Mrs. Clause shirt, revealing a fuzzy green Christmas sweater. “I know we’ve seen a lot of folk like that over the years. How long we been married, sugar cube? 30 years?”

Pam smiled, placing the neatly folded red outfit to the side. “44 years. You picked me up, some young thang and I never looked back.”

Amos smiled and leaned back. “Yes, we got in my car and just kept driving until we found someone who would marry us, didn’t we?” You eyed the couple in confusion.

“You guys eloped?”

“Sorta,” Amos chuckled, “Though I never got your daddy’s blessing.”

“You didn’t need it,” Pam assured him with a smile, “We’d still be single if we waited for that.” You didn’t quite understand what they were talking about. You smushed yourself into Papyrus a bit more and he placed an arm around you.

Amos drew her in closer and grinned at you both. “Like I said, people just have a funny way of handling change,” he concluded, taking Pam’s hand snugly in his own, the dim lighting from the fireplace casting flickering shadows over Pam’s lily white fingers entwined with Amos’ calloused hands.

You nodded slowly, understanding what was unspoken. 

Papyrus meanwhile huffed. “Well, maybe I should make an instructional video on how to handle change. It seems like a lot of people are having trouble with it and I am very good at improvising when it comes to hitches in plans. Like when your puzzle doesn’t work like it should.”

You took Papyrus’ phalanges in your own. “It would be inspirational, for sure.”

“I could make a series! The Cool Dude’s Guide to Dealing with New Things!” Papyrus gloated. 

Pam giggled. “It would sell like hotcakes, dear. Now before we get too tired, let me get you some blankets since you’ll be sleeping out here.” You nodded, releasing your date’s hand and clearing the rest of the plates. “Lori, I told you not to worry about it.” 

“Dude, Pam, shut the freak up,” you censured yourself, knowing that there was little children in the house, “You guys basically saved our bacon and rescued Jack from being a catsiccle...Speaking of which, Pap, have you seen him? I gotta make sure we know where he is so we can bring him home tomorrow?” 

“He was running around earlier. I’m sure he is planning another sneak attack,” Papyrus predicted. He was probably right. You continued to wash the dishes without interruption and it was only after turning off the water after the last saucer was rinsed off did you dry your hands. It was much warmer by the fireplace than in the kitchen so you scurried back toward the living room, only to crash into Papyrus.

“Whoops, sorry Papyrus,” you apologized. 

“It’s quite alright. Santa sent me in to get him a cup of cider,” he explained. Weird. You could have sworn you saw Amos with his own mug. Why did he need another one?

You made a motion to move but the sound of Pam going “Ooooohhhh” caused you to pause. Although her arms were full of blankets, she eagerly pointed with her elbow above you both. You looked up. Clever couple. You were both standing on the mistletoe. “Looks like you guys better kissss!” Pam teased childishly. 

“Let’s see some smooches!” Amos called as you and Papyrus quickly reddened. 

“Oh, yeah, smooching. Of course,” Papyrus repeated, rubbing his naked hands together. 

You nodded, secretly hoping your breath didn’t reek of something awful smelling. “Yup, totally, bring it on.” 

You both leaned toward each other apprehensively, trying to downplay this which was really hard with Pam consistently oohing in the background. It was just a kiss. Totally normal. Nothing to get worked up about... Goddammit, Pam.

“Mom!” A worried voice called out. You instinctively turned to the voice and reeled back as Papyrus’ chin collided with your forehead. 

“Ow, ow!” You winced, “Oh my God, you almost cracked my head open.” 

“Nyeh! I’m sorry!” He apologized bringing his hand to his skull quickly.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” 

“Is my face still intact? I still have a promising model career ahead of me!” He worried. You couldn’t but snort at that and burst into giggles. 

You quickly stifled your giggles when you spotted Beth’s mother. She looked rather nervous. Pam approached her quickly. “What’s wrong?”

“Have you seen Beth?”

“No, Dad and I haven’t.”

“I thought she was in the bedroom but I can’t find her.” 

Amos quickly put an arm around her. “It’s alright, she can’t be far. No one’s left the house.”

Papyrus scratched his chin. “The baby cat has also disappeared. Perhaps we should split up and search for both?” 

The family did just that. “Bethany!” “Beth, dear, come out, your mom’s worried about you!” “Beth, you need to be in bed or Santa won’t come.” Pam and Beth’s mom began to check the other bedrooms as you and Papyrus searched the living room. 

Chairs were lifted, closets opened, sofas were lifted before you moved into the kitchen. “Tiny human and tiny cat, please reveal one or both of yourselves soon. Your mother and foster parent, respectively, are worried!” Papyrus called as he opened the oven. You neared the ajar pantry door and paused. You could barely make out a small voice and you quickly waved Papyrus to silence before he could call out again. You listened carefully. 

“...and this is Annie. She um, she likes snails. And wants to be a fireman when she’s older.” It was a child’s voice you hadn’t heard before. It was soft and not very strong, but it was there. “No, we don’t bite Annie. We can brush Annie. Do you want to help me brush Annie?” 

You looked over at Papyrus. “Annie?” You mouthed silently at Papyrus. He shrugged. 

“Beth?” You nearly jumped as another soft voice spoke up right behind you both. It was her mother, followed quickly by Pam. Her wide glassy eyes stared wordlessly at the door.

“That’s-that’s good. Do you want Annie to brush you?” 

“That’s Beth. She’s, oh my god, she’s talking. I haven’t heard her talk this much in...in...” her mother’s wavering voice broke down. You and Papyrus stepped back to allow her to approach the door gently. “Baby, is that you?”

The voice became quiet. It was an agonizing few moments as her mother cringed and held her breath hopefully. “Yeah.”

“Sweetie, who are you talking to?” Her mother asked opened the door slowly. Sitting cross legged on the floor was Beth. She did not look up at her mother as she nervously fingered the ragdoll in one of her hands. Instead, her attention was focused on the one eyed bundle of fur that gazed right back at her. 

“The kitty,” Beth answered holding out a hand toward the small creature who booped his head against the palm of her hand.

Papyrus peeked over you and grinned. “Say! We found-Mmph!” You quickly slammed a hand over his teeth and pulled him out of the kitchen before he could finish his exclamation. You stopped right outside the entrance to the kitchen and turned to rebuke him. 

“That is a kitty,” you could hear her mother respond, relief evident in her voice, “What are you and the kitty doing?” Man, you would really have to keep a better eye on Jack once he was staying with you.

The girl’s voice came a little stronger now. “He helps me brush Annie. My kitty is very smart.”

My kitty? You froze. Beth just called Jack hers. You pressed your ear against the kitchen door worriedly.

Her mother’s voice wavered unsurely. “Oh sweetie, that is very nice of Jack to help you brush Annie’s hair.” You peeked in for a moment. 

“He likes Jackie so his name is Jackie. And when we go home, he’s gonna help me brush Angie’s hair too,” she declared, looking up at her mom. You could feel your heart thump painfully in your chest. His name was Jack and who said anything about him going home with Beth?

“He does seem to like the name. But honey, Jackie lives with...someone else.” You sighed in relief. That was probably a hard thing for any parent to say and you were glad the burden did not have to fall to you to take the kitten back. Atta girl. Beth’s mom wouldn’t give your kitten away.

Beth’s tone softened. “Jackie likes me.” You bit your quivering lip. When did it start to quiver? You stopped watching.

“I know, sweetie, it’s just, you know if I could, we’d take him home in a heartbeat. Beth, honey…”

Her voice softened, “I like Jackie.”

You felt like someone had taken a hammer to your chest at that statement and you pulled yourself away from the door. Oh. Your head was reeling. No, no. You had to stick to the plan. Jack was yours. Technically. You were going to keep him, at least until New Years and then you could formally adopt him. Yeah, remember that. You and he were going to have so much fun and he would lie on the couch with you and...

A hand tapped your shoulder and you looked at its source. You were still muffling Papyrus. “Oh, sorry, sorry,” you quickly apologized pulling your hand from him. 

He cleared his throat. “That’s quite alright.” You stood there, swaying silently on your feet. “I understand why you did that,” he continued, glancing at the door, “It sounds like the tiny human has made friends with Jack.”

“Y-yeah. It seems like it,” you admitted. 

Papyrus nodded and smiled at you reassuringly. “Do not worry, I know that you will take care of Jack.” You blinked in surprise at his words. 

“Well, I’m planning on it.”

Papyrus nodded. “I can see it now, you come home from work and I’m not around and there will be your cat waiting for you to get home. And you could pet him and complain about your day.” You peeked in through the slit between the door and the wall. 

Beth looked crestfallen. Jack had fallen asleep in her lap. The bugger had a hell of a day. And who knows how long he and Beth had been playing? It could have been hours for all you knew. You hadn’t watched him as closely as Beth did and still was.

“And perhaps you can get him to eat something other than those brown rocks you had out earlier. Really, now, what type of food is that for a cat?” 

She wasn’t looking at her mom anymore. She had withdrawn in on herself. Her mother was coaxing her softly to give her the kitten. Your throat felt like it was clenching up. The only indication that Beth had not fallen asleep were the movement of her fingers that brushed and smoothed the fur on Jackie’s head. 

“I-i can’t do this,” you finally sniffled. 

Papyrus looked at you curiously. “I’m sure you can! I have no doubts that you will take very good care of Jack.”

“It’s Jackie. His name is Jackie.”

“Eh?”

You wiped your eyes and grabbed Papyrus’ hand once more. “Pap, you’re going to think this is crazy but please help me and put this on real quick.”

~~~~~

“I’m sure she will let you visit Jackie whenever we are in town,” Beth’s mother tried to reassure her daughter. Beth’s hands remained at her sides, her eyes to the ground as her mother held a meowing Jack. 

Pam kneeled down to her granddaughter’s level. “Why don’t I make us a cup of hot cocoa? Would you like that?” Her granddaughter shrugged. “I’ll go ahead and boil some water, but then you have to go to bed so Santa can drop off your presents.” She reached for the kitchen door only for it to bust open with a loud crash. 

“NYEH-HEH HEH, I mean, HO HO HO!” A large figure shouted as he stood in the doorway, towering over the group of much smaller humans. An ill fitting red and white shirt had been hastily thrown on and the red Santa hat on top of his skull threatened to fall off by how much jiggling he was attempting to do to emphasize a chubby stomach that he did not have. 

Pam smiled widely. “Look, Beth, it’s Santa.”

Even Beth shot him a wide eyed look before darting behind the protection of her mother. Santa cackled, er laughed again. “Yes! It is me! Santa! Saint Nick! Kris Kringle...Krampus?” He scrunched his skull in confusion. 

“No, not Krampus,” Beth’s mother quickly corrected.

“Right! No Krampus here! Because I have stretched. After all, I am Santa and I have to deliver all these presents in one night!” Flawless. 

Pam cocked her head at him curiously. “Well, it’s so nice to see you Santa! Would you like a glass of milk or cookies?”

“Oh! A glass of milk would be nice.” Pam poured him a glass and handed it to the red gloved Santa in the kitchen. He almost went to drink it before realizing what he was doing. “Oh! Eh! Yes, let me just put this here!” He nearly broke the glass trying to delicately place it on the counter, spilling milk over his gloves. “WHERE IS THE SMALL HUMAN?” 

Pam’s mom coughed and gestured behind her. “She’s right here, Santa. She’s a bit shy.” 

Santa stuck out a finger at Beth. “You there! I heard you have been naughty this year!” 

“Excuse me?” Pam’s mother asked. 

“YES! She has opened up her Christmas present too early!” Santa declared shaking his finger overenthusiastically at the little girl. “But that is alright, I am not mad. Because I am Santa, I know she has been a good girl all year...right?”

Her mom nodded enthusiastically and Santa sighed in relief. “Whew, okay. That would have been awkward! But I need to give you the present myself to make it official, okay tiny human?” Beth buried her head into her mom’s back. “Excellent. Will you please hand me the present?” Santa asked, pointing to the furry monster in her mother’s hands. Jack mewed as Beth’s mother handed over the rather squirmy kitten. Beth’s eyes followed the exchange fearfully as her mother stepped aside. 

Santa cleared his throat and cast one more look at the mother who nodded in approval. He kneeled down to Beth’s level. “Now then, little girl, this is Jackie but you already knew that, didn’t you because you are so very clever?” A smile flickered on the girl’s face. “And now, I will give him to you to make this official.” And with that, Santa held out the kitten to her.

Her eyes widened at seeing Jackie offered to her. Her fingers cautiously reached for him, stopping every so often as if she was afraid he would be snatched away again. Santa steadfastly held the kitten as the tiny monster bit his glove until finally Beth wrapped two small hands delicately around his chest and drew him close. She stared in wonder at Jackie who became placated in her hands. 

“Now! I want you to make sure you feed him, and walk him, and have tea parties with him and make sure he gets to go with you whenever he can! Can you do that for me, the Great P-er Santa?” He asked. Beth looked up at him and nodded slowly before looking back at Jackie. Santa stood back up to his full height. “EXCELLENT! Now, you have stayed up far too late! How will I deliver presents if you do not go to bed?” 

“You heard Santa, Beth. Come on, let’s get you to bed so he can continue delivering presents to all the other children.” 

Beth quickly ran ahead of her mother and was already waiting by the kitchen door. She cast one more look at the tall figure in red. “Thank you, Santa.” And with that, she dashed out. 

~~~~~

Even though you weren’t pressed against the door anymore, you could still hear the exchange loud and clear from where you sat on the couch, knees up against your chest. God, you felt fucking awful. Despite your time with him being so brief, you knew you were going to miss the little asshole. You watched with bleary eyes as the kitchen door opened and Beth bolted out toward the bedrooms, Jackie snugly nestled into the crook of her neck. Her mother and Pam soon followed. And then it became quiet, save for the crackling of the still smoldering fire. 

“I was right, you know.” A voice told you from behind. 

“Oh Jesus Christ!” You squeaked, jumping up to your feet and turning around. How did Papyrus step out of the kitchen without you seeing him? And why was he holding a glass of milk? “Right about what?” You asked as he continued to smile at you. 

“Like I said before, I had no doubts that you would take care of Jack.” You smiled sadly at him.

“Heh, I suppose so...thank you, by the way.” 

“Not a problem!” Papyrus gently held your shoulder with his free hand. “You know, I am still Santa. I could bring you a new pet. How about a pet rock?” You snickered, wiping your eyes as he continued enthusiastically. “I’ll show you how to take care of it, and we could walk our rocks around the park every night.” 

You grinned, mischief sneaking into your eyes. “That’s really igneous, Papyrus.” The skeleton froze and scowled at you, his hand dropping off your shoulder.

“You have killed the Christmas spirit.”

“Ah, sorry, sorry.”

Papyrus shook his head. “I would have thought you would have tried to dig deeper for a bad rock joke.” 

“Well, I-uh” Wait a sec. Did he just…? You peered at him as he tried to look innocent. “Look at you, making puns,” you teased. 

Papyrus chuckled. “Sans is here in spirit, I suppose.” 

That reminded you of what Pam had told you before this whole search for Jackie had commenced. “Speaking of Sans,” you began, “Why didn’t you ask him to bring you to Toriel’s for the Christmas party?” 

“Oh, well-”

“Actually, uh, hold that thought. Do you mind taking off the Mrs. Clause outfit?” You blurted out, you face turning red. “I really can’t take anything you say seriously when you’re wearing that.” 

Papyrus posed heroically. “Are you sure? I really think it brings out my well defined biceps.” He handed you the glass of milk (which you snuck a sip of) as he took off the shirt, folded it and put it to the side. He continued his explanation. “As I was saying, the fireplace here is big enough to accommodate Santa when he does arrive,” Papyrus answered, suddenly finding the fireplace far more interesting than your eyes.

You got a bit closer to him. “Liar. You lectured me on keeping prior reservations and you’re here instead.” 

“I’m not lying.”

“Okay, then what’s the full reason?” Heh. Got it. 

Papyrus looked slightly embarrassed. “I had wanted to spend some time with you on Christmas Eve...and give you your present. So technically, I have kept my previous reservation.”

Your eyes widened. Oh my God, you didn’t get a present for Papyrus. “Oh, uh Pap, you didn’t have to get me a present.” 

“What type of friend would I be if I didn’t? It’s in my trunk, actually. I had to take out the spare tire so it wouldn’t crush it.” Ah. That explained a lot. “Wait here.”

“No, wait!” But he had already left the house. You panicked. 

“Oh my God. I didn’t get him a present!” You squealed. Shit, shit, what should you do?! You glanced up at the mistletoe. Maybe, maybe you could give him the mistletoe. Wow you were really reaching, weren’t you? Then again, he could bring it to Toriel’s home. Frisk would probably love that. 

That mistletoe was a bit high for you to jump for. You quickly dragged over a chair and clambered up. The chair rocked unsteadily. “Ugh, still too high,” You groaned. You balanced on your tippy toes and reached again. This time, you were able to grab the piece of shrub. “Ha! Got it!” You exclaimed, stepping back. The chair slipped out from under you at the imbalance of weight and you gasped as you found yourself tumbling backwards. 

Thankfully, you did not fall far. A pair of study arms caught you bridal style and you looked up sheepishly into the confused face of Papyrus. “Uh, hi,” you managed, embarrassed. 

“Hello again...did I interrupt something?”

“Uhhhhh. No, I was just, uh, getting your present.”

Papyrus lit up. “Oh! I did not see you bring it in! Very discreet!” He quickly set you down and handed you a lumpy wrapped package. “Here, I know it’s not Christmas, but you can open mine now.” 

You looked at the gift in your hand. You had no idea what it was and you felt immediate regret that you were a shitty gift giver. You looked up at Papyrus who so desperately was trying to play it cool but you could tell he was eagerly awaiting your reaction. You opened it up carefully and pulled out a bright orange scarf. “Oh, wow!” You gasped, unraveling it. It was long. Like really long and you had to catch the bottom of it quite a few times so it did not fall on the ground. 

Papyrus nodded. “I was thinking about what to get you and thought: You know what is cool? Scarves. That’s why I wear one. Not to really keep me warm since I have no skin. But it makes you really cool and so I thought I should be your cool friend and give one to you so we could be cool together...er, not saying that you aren’t cool already.” 

You laughed and wrapped it around yourself a couple times until it no longer touched the floor. “This is awesome. I love it. Thanks, Papyrus.” Your face fell slightly. “Uh, about your gift, uh…” you fingered the mistletoe nervously. 

Papyrus did not appear to notice. “Would you like me to shut my sockets so you can get it?” You nodded wordlessly. He sat down on the couch and leaned back, closing his eyes and folding his hands patiently. 

So fucknuts, what was your plan now? Stall the inevitable? Do you think he would stay like that, long enough for you to drive out and get something and bring it back? No. Eh, well maybe he would, but you had no way of doing that anyway in this weather and with no vehicle. You paced back and forth in front of him before stopping finally. Oh fuck it, you hoped he wouldn’t get angry that you lied. 

You approached him and you bit your lip. He continued to sit there, sockets shut. An idea snuck into your mind. You could probably do anything to him right now and get away with it. You slapped a hand to your forehead. What the hell? Rapey much? But, then again...how much could you actually get away with? You were both alone and free of interruptions at this point. You licked your lips and looked at the mistletoe and back at him. Fuck it. You walked to him and carefully began to climb on the couch too, your legs on either side of his own, effectively straddling him.

Your actions did not go unnoticed. He jumped slightly and shivered when your skin made contact with him. “Lori?” He asked carefully. God bless him, his sockets were still shut but his hands raised to touch your sides. You pushed them gently but firmly back down to his sides. 

“I have a confession,” you began, your heart beating way faster than you would have liked, “But you have to promise not to get mad.” Papyrus nodded, swallowing. “Okay, so about your present…uh hold this,” you asked, pressing the mistletoe into one of his hands. “And can you lift it up?”

“Like this?” Papyrus asked, holding the mistletoe above his head.

“Yeah, just like that.” You pushed your lips against his teeth passionately. Initially he froze but he soon returned the kiss full force, pressing into you. You forgot to breath and you soon had to pull back, breaking the kiss with a satisfying pop. “I forgot to get you a present,” you admitted breathlessly to the dazed skeleton. 

Papyrus snapped out of his confusion. “W-what?!” He gaped. You winced.

“You said you wouldn’t get mad,” you whined, ducking your head. 

“I’m not mad, but I am very confused.” You cocked your head as he explained. “You just told you didn’t give me anything after you gave me something. Two things, actually,” he admitted smiling goofily. 

“I-i did?”

“Yes, this, uh, plant thing and a kiss. I enjoyed that.” He brought down the mistletoe to examine it. “Should I eat the berries?” 

You shook your head. “No, no. Don’t. I think they might be poisonous actually.” You laughed awkwardly. “I didn’t buy you anything though.” 

Papyrus booped your nose. “You didn’t need to. This was a very nice spontaneous surprise. Although I do have to ask,” He asked, holding up the mistletoe to you. “how many uses does this eh…”

“Mistletoe.” 

“Yes. This mistletoe. How many times can I use it before I need to charge it?” 

“Charge it?” 

Papyrus nodded. “Yes, how many more times can it be used for this until I need to charge it?” 

You stared confusedly at him. “Uh, none. Papyrus, this isn’t-It’s just a piece of shrub. There’s no charging anything.” 

“It has unlimited usage?” 

“Well, I guess until it withers away.” 

Papyrus mulled over this before a sly smile broke out onto his skull. “So if I hold this over my head, I will get a kiss everytime?” 

You blushed furiously. “Well, uh, if you want to, sure.” He handed it to you. 

“Will you demonstrate?”

“Huh?” 

“If it’s not hanging, how should I hold it over my head to get the maximum effect?” You eyed him curiously but he was serious. Wasn’t he just holding it over his own head? He picked up on your thought and shook his head. “I had my sockets closed. I want to make sure I do it right.” 

You shrugged and held the mistletoe over your head. “Well, all you would do is lift it over your head like this. Does this help?”

“Immensely,” Papyrus purred. With both of his hands now free, he quickly pulled you into another kiss. You nearly dropped the mistletoe out of surprise but managed to hold it up still. Your body responded to the stimulation by pressing itself against his needfully, your free hand running up and down his chest. He started to groan against your lips and you panted shamelessly as you wiggled against him excitedly. 

Your arm finally grew tired and you let it fall behind his neck. Papyrus pulled away from the kiss, an immense amount of satisfaction and glee plastered on his skull. Your head spun with stars for a few seconds. However, the sound of a grandfather clock chiming broke you from the spell. You dropped the mistletoe with a gasp. It was midnight? Already? How long had you two been kissing? And if it was midnight, that could only mean one thing. 

“It’s Christmas!” Papyrus cheered, but not too loud. 

You nodded and slid off your date. “Maybe we should go to sleep so Santa can finally stop by and finish delivering those presents, eh, Pap?” 

“Of course, of course!” Papyrus hurriedly agreed, setting down the blankets on the floor that Pam had brought you earlier. “Eh...I believe your friend may have miscounted the blankets. There’s only enough here for one bed.” 

Oh there had been no miscounting on Pam’s part. You ran your fingers through your hair. “I guess, we can sleep together? If you don’t mind?”

Papyrus squealed. “Really? Of course. I mean, I don’t mind at all. It’s like an extra special sleepover,” Papyrus coughed and pulled it together, barely containing his excitement at the opportunity. He quickly finished making the bed and you both soon settled in together, facing each other. You yawned tiredly and he followed suit. “Human, please do not let me forget to take the missile bush with me.”

“Will do,” you agreed. With that, you placed a gentle peck on his teeth and tried to roll over only for him to grab your arm instead and roll you back. 

“You kissed me.”

You paled. Shit. “Yes? I’m sorry, was that bad?” 

“No, it’s just I’m not under the branch!” Papyrus insisted. 

“So?” 

“Doesn’t the mistletoe make people want to kiss?” 

You shrugged. “Well some people do it under peer pressure but otherwise it doesn’t make anyone do anything. You can kiss if you want to, or not.” 

Papyrus gaped. “So earlier...when you kissed, you WANTED to kiss me and were not magicked into it?” 

“What? I-uh, it was free will,” you admitted. You raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that you only kissed me because you thought you were under a spell?”

“Er...well, yes? Wait. No. Not exactly. It did seem rather like a very convenient reason for us to engage in some heavy smooching. Not to say that that’s all I wanted from you. And not to say that I didn’t not want that from you either. I am not saying this well...uh-ah, to heck with this.” He quickly leaned forward and kissed you right back. He pulled back after only a second or two. “There, yes, that’s what I mean. Nyeh, does that make sense?”

You nodded and nestled against his chest. “Sure does, Pap. Merry Christmas.”

He rubbed his skull against your head and happily sighed. “Merry Christmas to you too, Lori.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes the One Eyed Christmas Kitten...well at least the main part. There will be a bonus, optional chapter up by New Year. ;)
> 
> I'll end this chapter with two questions.  
> What did you guys want/get for the holidays? And what scene in this story was just too much wtf? ;)
> 
> As always, Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah to you! And pagans too! :D You guys are awesome.
> 
> Edit: Originally I wrote nsfw instead of optional. But after some thought, I think it will just be just an extra that you can read or not and it will be pretty much sfw. :)


	5. Bonus: Can't Sleep...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, as promised, the final chapter of The One Eyed Christmas Kitten.  
> You guys have been a phenomenal blast and I'm so happy to have made many good friends this year through the Undertale community.
> 
> I wish you all a Happy New Year and I'll see you all on the flip side!

Not gonna lie, sleeping on the floor, even in front of a fireplace, was not the most comfortable position. Papyrus had no problems falling asleep and you tried to settle down as well. After about an hour of tossing and turning, falling asleep intermittently, you decided you just had to cure your boredom. Maybe Papyrus would want to redeem his i.o.u. You weren’t exactly sure when you were going to be alone. So you poked Papyrus. 

“Hmm?”

“Are you awake?” You asked. Papyrus groaned.

“I am now,” he yawned. 

“Ooh, no. Sorry go back to sleep.” 

“What is it?” His skull nodded sleepily as he spoke. 

“It’s-it’s nothing.” You didn’t have the nerve even if he was semi conscious. He attempted to stir regardless and you bit your lip. “Go back to sleep,” you whispered, your fingers reaching out and gently rubbing along the lower portion of neck and his clavicle until he relaxed and began to snore. 

Only once when you were sure he was completely asleep did you risk getting up. You quickly removed your bra from under your clothes and stashed it behind a pillow. Even with that, you were still uncomfortable. You needed to stretch your feet, something. You spotted the glass of milk Papyrus had brought with him. Milk was supposed to help you sleep, right? Meh, why not. With a sigh, you seized the beverage. A soft groan caught your attention and you noticed Papyrus stirring in his sleep. You shrugged and sipped some milk. You had some time to yourself. Might as well put them to use. 

Regarding your grandparents, well, that may eventually blow over. Part of you were hoping it wouldn’t and they would never contact you again. But that was too good to hope for, so you let your mind travel elsewhere. You’d have to tell Tina when you came in the next day that you adopted out Jack by accident. And his name was now Jackie. Which Tina would find hilarious. 

What you didn’t want to mention is how your recklessness nearly killed him. If it hadn’t been for Papyrus keeping him warm, he may not have lasted long enough for Pam to find you. The skeleton seemed to mumbling things in his sleep. How had Papyrus kept Jack, er, Jackie warm? And how had he known that he was cold?

It probably had to do with that ball of heat you had encountered when you tried to fish out Jack a second time. Jack was practically nestled to it. Something kept nagging at you in the back of your mind. Had that been Papyrus’ soul? Thanks to Undyne, he once had accidentally texted you a photo of it. It had looked warm in the photo but he was rather embarrassed about the whole incident and so the information you had gotten from him was minimal. It was basically a magical representation of him in his purest form. Er, or something like that. 

That being said, he’d probably feel it if someone touched it. You harkened back to a conversation you once had with Alphys about magic. Magic was only as effective as its intent. Papyrus always wanted to help and with Jackie literally freezing to death, it made sense that even unconsciously, Papyrus’ true self would empathize and try to warm up the small creature. That’s how he knew he was cold. But what about the reaction when you touched it? The fuck was all that about? Unfortunately, you wouldn’t be getting any answers anytime soon as he was asleep.

You heard your date call your name softly. Ooh, or maybe not. “What’s up?” You asked, taking a gulp of milk. He didn’t respond. You glanced over and almost choked. 

You can see orange magic faintly shining through his closed socket. But that’s not what immediately drew your attention. No. The swirling wisps that coated and danced over his chest were the stars of the room. Your initial shock vanished only for it to come back full force as you realized he was moaning your name, his hands scrunching up the blanket underneath him. God, it was like watching someone have a wet dream and you felt that you shouldn’t be watching this. Unfortunately, your body had other plans and you felt yourself rooted to the spot, watching him. Holy crap, holy crap.

“Papyrus?!” 

The skeleton’s sockets sprung open immediately and he leapt to his feet in an instant, assuming a battle stance as he rose. You could see an orange blaze continue to flare in his now open socket as he searched for danger. You felt your chest suddenly tighten and a feeling of heaviness and immobility seized you. You gasped, wanting to clutch your own chest but being unable to do so. Your breathing turned harsh. 

Papyrus turned toward you and his fighting stance dropped instantly. “Human?” He ventured, his pupil still glowing as he scanned you. 

You couldn’t move. He had cast magic on you. You couldn’t move. You could feel your heart beating faster. “Shit, it’s me,” you begged. He concentrated and a worried look crossed his skull. 

“The magic is not dispelling.” 

You couldn’t move. He had cast magic on you. And he couldn’t stop it. Oh my God. You were feeling light headed but you were forced yourself to calm down and resort your line of first defense. Sass. “Are you serious right now?” You asked.

He nodded. “I’m sorry, this has never happened to me before.” You raised an eyebrow as he continued. “I haven’t had it go off like this before.”

“Are you saying that this magic was…premature?” You asked, feeling yourself smile like an idiot. 

“I suppose so, but I’m not quite sure I would use that word…” His voice trailed off as you started laughing. He narrowed his sockets. “I have a sneaking suspicion that you just made an inappropriate joke.” 

“Maybeeee…”

“Un. Believable.” Papyrus huffed as you quieted down. 

You wish you could wipe the tear out of your eye from laughing so hard. “Alright, now let me go.”

Papyrus held out his hands. “I can’t.”

“Hold up, are you serious?” 

“Why would I joke about this?” 

“I don’t know!” You admitted. “Why did this happen?”

“I’m not sure. I did not summon my magic like this.”

You piped up. “Actually, I think your magic was going on when you slept?”

Papyrus looked unnerved. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, uh, saw the orange stuff on you….” 

Papyrus paced thoughtfully. “I must have been too deep in my dream that when I woke up, I must have panicked and used you as a target for my magic then.”

You coughed. “So what were you dreaming about?” 

“Oh, well you see I-“ He froze mid statement. He glanced at you anxiously. “It’s nothing important.”

“Uh huh…right. Well, I think it is important. It might help us figure out why this happened.” 

Papyrus shook his head. “I assure you that nothing of any importance happened within my dream.”

You gave up. “Pap, I know it was about me.” 

His sockets shifted. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I heard you moaning out my name. I know it was about me.” He practically choked. “What were we doing?”

“We uh…well, we were in my room and uh, we were…just sitting on the bed.”

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“Bullshit.” 

“Drat.” Papyrus crossed his arms. “Alright, but please realize that this was dream me and not real me.” You nodded. He cleared his throat. “We were kissing and uh, touching.”

“Touching?”

Papyrus anxiously shifted. “Well, you were touching me and I was going to start touching you and then well, here we are.”

You basically interrupted an almost wet dream. Poor Papyrus didn’t even get to second base in his dream. No wonder he was a bit pent up. And it looked like he was going to stay that way for a while. Well, unless… “So, why don’t you go ahead and continue?”

“WHAT?!” Papyrus almost shrieked but he quickly caught himself. “Do you know what you are saying?”

“I know what I’m saying.” He grabbed his skull in his hands as you continued, “Listen, your magic reacted in that dream and you didn’t have a chance to naturally dispel it. It needs an outlet. So, uh, here you go.” He looked at you dubiously and you bit your lip. “I mean, if you don’t want to though, that’s alright.”

He shook his head. “No, no that’s not it. It’s just…I realize you are trying to help, but you don’t think this is a bit overboard?”

You shook your head. “Not really. Remember, I did give you an I.O.U. for a free pass. Plus,” You added, “I really don’t want to stand here all night. My nose itches,” you whined, scrunching your nose up. 

He stood there silently for a while, contemplating your words. It felt like forever. You started to wonder if you could fall asleep standing up when he finally spoke up. “Very well.”

“Yes?”

“Yes.” Papyrus approached you and you waited patiently. He extended one hand toward you and could feel yourself tense up. However, his hand quickly traveled up and rubbed your nose instead. 

“Uh…”

“You said your nose was itchy?” 

You blushed. Why was he so sweet? “Yeah, heh, thank you. That’s much better.” He stopped and regarded you carefully. “Go on,” you coaxed, smiling disarmingly at him. He very gently reached out and touched the very top of your chest with his forefinger. You rolled your eyes. “Okay, I’m not made of glass. I’m not going to break.” 

“Of course not! I knew that! This is called setting the mood,” he argued as he booped you again. You rolled your eyes but didn’t fight him on this. Eventually, his other hand approached you and you held your breath.

That one booped you too.

“Papyrus!!” You snapped. 

“Setting mood!” He squeaked back. 

“If you don’t want to do this, it’s fine, seriously just-gah!” Your words ended in a less than sexy gasp as Papyrus deftly grabbed both your breasts at once. “Dude! Foreplay! Foreplay!” 

“What?”

“That was too rough!” He quickly released them. Papyrus looked disheartened and you realized that shouting at him was not helping. You took a deep breath and tried again. “It’s just, cause I’m really small compared to you so you have to be a bit gentler. Which shouldn’t be a problem for someone as great and handsome as you.”

The compliment worked. He relaxed and smiled. “Of course!” He flexed a bone for emphasis. “I could very easily crush you into itty bitty pieces.”

You nodded. “Exactly. But you won’t because you’re cool.”

“That, and it’s not very nice to crush someone into itty bitty pieces,” Papyrus chuckled. “Very well, let us try this again.” This time, he confidently placed his hands on your chest and gave them a gentle squeeze. Before you could lean into it, he removed them and nodded his head. “Thank you, that was very kind of you.”

You blinked. “Wait, that’s it?”

“I have redeemed by I.O.U.” Papyrus informed you. You still couldn’t move. He noticed this immediately. “Ah. That did not work. And I just redeemed my coupon.”

You have no idea how you didn’t bust out laughing at the word coupon but you managed it. Instead, you tried something else. “Technically, you haven’t. It was for a touch under my outfit, not on top.”

“O-oh!” He cleared his throat. “I suppose if you’re fine with that.” You nodded. “Right, well don’t worry, I will be most diligent about the task.”

You hummed to yourself as Papyrus stuck a hand in from the bottom of your shirt. You could feel it graze your abdomen as he moved upwards. He was warm. That felt really nice. You felt slightly guilty that he wouldn’t reap the benefits of his I.O.U. effectively. You were wearing a bra, so even underneath your shirt, he still would touch another piece of fabric instead of your actual chest. Not that you think he’d mind, but still it was something thing think about.

The tip of his gloves touched the underside of your breast. Hold up. He shouldn’t have been able to do that. You were wearing your bra…oh my god, no you weren’t. You ditched that sucker when you first got up! You spotted it peeking out from the corner of the pillow and bit your lip. Huh, well so much for feeling that Papyrus would suffer through some form of neglect. 

He was speaking now, and you zoned in midway. “After all, I must account for my exceptional strength for you are…are…soft.” His voice died down as he pressed his fingers against the supple flesh of your breast. “Wowie, so very soft,” he murmured to himself. His fingers carefully pinched the flesh, absolutely astounded by the texture of it and you relaxed in his hand. His hands were large for sure, allowing him to push down experimentally on both of the girls at the same time, as if to test their elasticity. 

You purred at the contact. The noise broke his concentration and he looked at you astounded. If he thought that was great, just wait until he went a bit lower, you thought deviously. His hand continued to explore your chest, finally alighting on a spot between your breasts. He paused and then hummed.

“What?”

“I can hear your soul beat.”

“I think you mean my heart,” you chuckled

He clarified. “That’s attached to your soul.” He shut his sockets and placed his other hand to his own chest. “Strange. Your soul beats in time with mine.”

You cocked your head at him. “Seriously? That’s weird. Are you sure?”

He nodded and invited you to touch his chest. Your hand reached out and touched where he gestured. You shut your own eyes and listened as best as you could. You couldn’t hear it well, definitely not to the extent that he could but you could pick up the beat. It was faint but he was correct. “Woah. I never synced up heart er soul beats before. Probably cause you’re using magic on me, huh?”

Papyrus scrunched his skull in thought, his sockets dark but still reflective of deep thought. “I guess so? I don’t remember that being a side effect, but then again, I do not normally quiz my combatants about their vitals when battling. Perhaps I should do that.” He blinked and looked down at your hand. That was freely moving on its accord. He released you.

You jumped in surprise and your body shook as you suddenly regained willful control of your person. The feeling was jarring, like someone trying to turn over your ignition right after your battery died. The warmth he appeared to have been feeding you through touch vanished, leaving your teeth to rattle from the drastic change in temperature.

Your body decided it had enough and you tumbled forward unexpectantly, only to fall into his arms. Papyrus pressed you against himself in a tight hug. “Listen to me. You’re going to be alright.”

“Did-did I fix it? Are you back to normal?” Your voice came out slurred and exhausted. 

He ran his glove through your hair soothingly. “Yes, yes. I am alright.”

“Good, cause I care about you…”

The skeleton shushed you reassuringly. “I care so much for you. But just rest now, please.” You didn’t believe you had done anything strenuous to warrant a rest but his suggestion was nearly hypnotic and you nodded your head slowly. Perhaps, you probably shouldn’t volunteer as an outlet for magic in the near future.

You allowed him to lie you back down and he carefully slid next to you, doing his best not to jar you back up. Instead, you merely yawned. He attempted to give you more room but you quickly looped your arms around his and drew him close to you. “Stay here, please,” you mumbled.

Papyrus kissed the top of your head as you nestled it against his chest. The beat of his own soul offered some strange comfort and you felt yourself lulled to sleep. He placed another kiss on your head. 

“As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you get the reference at the end, your New Year is going to be amazing.
> 
> Bye! See you guys later with Must Love Animals...and perhaps a Valentines Day story (suggestions are appreciated)


End file.
